Tag...I'm it!

I’ve been “tagged” and now have to post 7 strange/weird facts about me, and then tag 7 other bloggers to do the same. I’m going to include Frank in this too, so I’ll actually post 14.

Here are the rules for those I’ve tagged: Post the rules on your blog. Share 7 strange/weird facts about yourself. Tag 7 random bloggers, as well as your original tagger. Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on his or her blog.

Our weird stuff:

1. Our first kiss was in Magnolia Cemetery.

2. I wrote our entire wedding ceremony and rhymed our vows -- a la Dr. Seuss. (Just the vows, not the whole ceremony.)

3. Frank went through a “Ghandi phase” before we met, and he purged nearly all his personal possessions.

4. We rarely go to the beach, even though it’s 15 minutes away. (We prefer the mountains!)

5. My cousin’s cousin is married to Barbara Mandrell’s cousin.

6. I suffered two broken vertebrae in a freak accident at age 18.

7. Frank once had a bad bicycle accident that required reconstructive surgery of his lip and nose.

8. My mom was going to name me either Eva or Ava, until she heard the name Regina on the radio.

9. Frank loves to build and fly remote control airplanes.

10. We rarely watch sports on TV. Maybe the Super Bowl and that’s it.

11. We love documentary films, and aspire to produce one some day.

12. I am addicted to hand lotion.

13. When Frank was little he wanted to be a pilot. When I was little I wanted to be an astronomer or an archaeologist. (Frank's degree is in graphic design. My degree is in Theatre.)

14. We can't sleep without very faint white noise -- usually a small fan.

15. (Bonus item) We both loved the Cure, Psychedelic Furs, New Order and the Smiths in the 80's, and we had the hair to prove it.

Ok, that's all the scoop. We can't share the really juicy stuff; this is a family blog!

Shower Power

Frank's co-workers threw us our first baby shower last Thursday night!

It was a fantastic evening -- more like a fun dinner party that just happened to end with us opening baby presents. Frank works with the most wonderful people, and they have all been so supportive and excited for us throughout this process. (He is a graphic designer for a federal agency focused on the coastal environment.)

We had a great time, and received many thoughtful gifts including a Diaper Genie II, the Leap Frog Groove & Learn Musical Table, the matching mobile for our crib bedding, many awesome books, a wipes warmer, a manly diaper bag for Frank and more.

Having these new things in the nursery has really added a whole new dimension to it -- especially hearing the sweet little lullaby from the spinning mobile. (It plays Rock-a-Bye Baby, which is actually kind of sad when you think about it. Boughs breaking, babies falling...) We put everything together that same night, and played with the Learn and Groove for what must have been an hour, looking up at each other with a mix of utter disbelief and happy anticipation. This was definitely a step toward making it all seem even more real.

Thank you so much to everyone involved for your generosity! And a special thanks to Hanna and Donna for planning the shower, as well as to Hanna and David for hosting it in your beautiful home!

No News Flash

Hello friends! Sorry I have been out of touch, but I recently returned from a long business trip to Dallas, Texas. I missed y'all!

No big news to share yet, but something exciting is that Frank’s co-workers are throwing us a baby shower Thursday evening. It feels so wonderful and weird and cool and awesome and scary and surreal. I'm actually a little nervous.

We’re still waiting to hear our region assignment, and hope to know within the next couple of weeks. It will be super exciting to find out where our child is and in what city our little family will be formed. We still hope to travel around March or April, but there could still be delays. Rumors of delays recently abound in the Kaz adoptive world, but we’re just trying to go with the flow, expect the unexpected and stay flexible.

We’ve been extremely busy with preparations. I’ve started the last bit of paperwork – our Travel Documents. Many of these are “do-overs” to ensure important papers don’t expire during our trip. We’ve also been hustling on many other fronts. We’ve researched/chosen an adoption doctor to consult with while overseas, bought super-warm coats, ordered power converters and surge protectors, created a serious packing list, learned lots more Russian, purchased gifts for orphanage caregivers and liaisons, learned Baby Sign Language, started “while I’m away” lists for work and home, registered at Babies ‘R’ Us, rearranged the nursery, shopped for a glider, tried to figure out where to put all the stuff in the baby’s closet, and tried to keep up with other blogs and newsgroup messages to stay in the loop. With all that plus a gazillion other things not adoption related, time is actually passing pretty quickly!

By the way, Frank wanted to express his thanks for the many thoughtful words and e-mails he received about his January 10th post. It is great to know that sharing his story has encouraged and touched so many others.

Here is the man himself, modeling his brand new, super-warm coat and hat fit for a Siberian spring. He's trying to look Russian, and doing a pretty good job I think. ;-)

Speaking of puffy and grumpy, while I was in Dallas I had a dreadful little bout with food poisoning. The bitter and repeated reunion with my dinner throughout the wee hours of the morning left me feeling so weak and miserable that I had to stay in my hotel room the entire next day. As I lay alone, feebly curled up in the bed, sipping Sprite and dozing through a fever, I didn’t feel sorry for myself so much as I worried like crazy how I could possibly have taken care of a baby at the same time. There was no way! Just lifting the phone took considerable effort.

I’m fortunate to have Frank as my co-pilot, but what if he is out of town? Or also sick? How on earth do single moms do it??? Trying to fathom all of that was far scarier than being up close and personal with the very unfriendly contents of my belly. Everyone says you just find a way because you have to. I’m sure that is the case, but I just I hope that I never have to cross that particular bridge again. The Coconut Shrimp Bridge of Hell!

The Kieffers Come to Charleston

We had the pleasure of meeting a wonderful Kaz adoptive family last Thursday night! Marc and Le Anne Kieffer and their son, Rhys (pronounced Reese), who live in North Carolina were visiting friends here in Charleston, and we all met for dinner at Bubba Gump Shrimp Company downtown. They are the nicest people and a lot of fun too! We enjoyed their company very much and look forward to having them over for dinner next time they are here. (They used to live in Charleston, so they visit a lot.)

Rhys is almost 2, and was adopted from the city of Kokshetau in late 2006. He is 100% Kazakh, sooo adorable and smart as a whip. Marc and Le Anne were simply glowing with pride and love for him, and they are excited to soon be adopting a little sister from Kaz too.

It was comforting and inspiring to be around a "real live Kaz family." Step right up ladies and gentlemen, see first-hand a real live family who made it through the process and are now living happily after! :-) Rhys even let us hold him for a little while after dinner, although he was more interested in checking out his surroundings than cuddling with adoring prospective adoptive parents. Things to see, stuff to explore!

Here's something neat. A few months ago the Kieffers learned that Kazakhstan's Astana Tigers college basketball team was coming to Charlotte for a game through Athletes in Action. They went to the game with a giant Kaz flag and cheered them on to victory. Then they invited the whole team over for a cookout the next day. Now that's what I call Southern hospitality!

Here are a few photos I borrowed from their blog (with permission):

How fun!

Oh, and Le Anne and several other Kaz moms are going on a girl's trip soon (probably while we are in Kaz), and she invited me to join them next year. I look forward to that!

Thank you, Kieffers, for sharing so much great information, travel advice and inspiration. We look forward to your next visit, and also to future play dates with Rhys and little sis!

Black Hole Day, by Frank

This is photo of when the universe began. Well, at least as far as I’m concerned.

This is a photo of my parents on their wedding day. That day was March 28, 1954. This is the day their planets aligned with my stars. This day sealed the fate that they would meet me one day, and that I would be destined to have the best family ever.

Today is January 10, 2008. It is the ninth anniversary of the day my mother died. Nine years since my world collapsed. That was the worst day of my life and it left a black hole in my universe.

My side of the family has not been whole ever since. She was the hub of everything. She helped us raise our hopes, rallied behind us when we were down, assisted old and young alike, loved every human and animal, gave to the needy and sick, spoke kindly to all and was gentle to everyone in the family and with our friends. I am not exaggerating when I say those things.

She and my father adopted me when I was a baby. This was the best thing that ever happened to me. She was more than any child could ever dream of having as a mother.

So to anyone out there wondering about whether an adopted child and a loving parent could have that special bond, I am here to tell you first hand, wonder no more. My life experience as an adopted child has been no less than the brightest star.

So with that, my wife and I are about to expand the universe again. Well, at least our universe. Thank you, Mom, for giving us the hopes and dreams for having the kind of love that you once had.

I miss her.

P.S. Instead of posting comments on this entry, I would like to ask that you observe a “virtual moment of silence” if you would oblige me.

The Times They Are A-Changin'

http://www.rainbowkids.com/ArticleDetails.aspx?id=549

The above link is to a very good article examining international adoption
in 2007, and contemplating the state of international adoption in 2008.



Click to enlarge

A Tall Order

I apologize in advance for the shallow, girly girl nature of this post. Boys, feel free to read on if you like. I promise it has nothing to do with my ovaries, brassiere or favorite lipstick. It's just about clothes.

I have plenty of professional clothes. I have plenty of jazz singer clothes. I have enough bum-around clothes. But I don't have many good mom clothes. Soon I will need to get my shop on, and it won't be pretty.

Before we get into why, first let's cover what exactly qualifies as “good mom clothes.” For starters let's be clear that they do not include mom jeans. (Mom Jeans: Noun; Denim pants with a very high waist and an unflattering, tapered cut which make the wearer – usually a busy mom – look long-bottomed and frumpy. Often paired with a bird themed cardigan). Hilarious SNL video here.

By “good mom clothes” I mean cute, easywear outfits that say “I’m a hip mom who will not let motherhood affect my ability to look smart, attractive, and fashionable," while also being comfortable and effortless. Good mom clothes should never be embarrassing to be seen in, yet be casual and inexpensive as they will most certainly be soiled with spit-up, fingerpaints and the various and sundry contents of a diaper.

For example:

Perfect for a zoo outing, rolling on the floor with your Kazmanian Devil,
stepping out for a gallon of soy milk, or chaperoning a field trip
where you run into an ex-boyfriend.

Got the idea?

Ok, so here’s the rub: I’m a tall person (5’10”) and regular pant lengths are too short, as are regular torso and sleeve proportions. There is no tall store in Charleston, and most stores here that carry longer lengths only do so in 1 or 2 styles of dress pants or jeans. (And for the record, I'm not crazy about the cropped look or jeans.)

So I will probably have to buy tall sizes from tall specialty shops online, and pay 4 times more for something most women can pick up at Target, Old Navy or TJ Maxx for cheap. Plus online shopping runs a high risk of a poor fit and multiple returns. I don’t mind paying more for my good clothes, but can I really bring myself to spend $179 on one velour jog suit? Should I just suck it up and wear pants that flood and tops with a too-short torso that makes me look thicker? Should I just buy men’s clothes and get a hot new butch haircut to match?

I know, I know, this is a really trivial problem in the scheme of things. With world hunger, Iraq, the healthcare crisis, global climate change, cancer, our disappearing social security, millions of orphans, AIDS, child abuse, the national deficit and the swift deterioration of our children's basic spelling skills due to text messaging, who gives a flying you-know-what about my wardrobe. It has nothing to do with parenting, and our child won’t give a rat’s patootie about my getup being fashionable for at least 10 more years.

And all frustrations said, I wouldn’t trade being tall for an easier shopping experience. At least my summertime garb will be easier; I can throw on one of my sundresses and be good to go in an instant. And the tall selections have improved in recent years. I will find some good stuff out there, one way or the other. I always manage to, but it will take some detective work. If not, maybe Stacy and Clinton will show up on my doorstep. Until then, just watch out for a flood.