Forward March

March has flown by. Absolutely flown. I’ve been too busy for my own good, and over Easter weekend I jetted to Indianapolis for a quick visit with my family. I had a nice, relaxing time with them, although the colder weather was a shock since spring has been springing in Charleston for weeks now. As you can see, our azaleas are in full bloom!

One of the highlights of my trip home was seeing my great niece again – the adorable Carissa Nicole, who is almost one year old. It's hard to believe that our child will be close to the same age as my niece's child. Am I really a great aunt? I thought all great aunts were silver-haired, loved to quilt, drive Buicks and eat dinner at 4pm?

Here is little Carissa with her mom, my lovely niece, Sacha.

I’m a little late with this news, but the temporary suspension of the processing of Kaz dossiers by the DC consulate has been lifted!

Apparently, there is a new Ambassador who wanted to assess the existing process. I’ve read that every new case going through the DC consulate will still be under intense scrutiny for awhile, which will slow the processing pace. This prolongment is excruciating for those families caught up in it. It’s hard enough when everything runs like clockwork (not that ours has) and we feel so bad for those who are trudging through this bog.

But understandably, Kaz does not want to fall into the same traps that some other countries have fallen into. Not being regulated tightly enough can leave room for corruption. You’ve probably seen this kind of thing all over the news with Guatemala. It’s only a small percentage of cases, but it’s tragic how greed has had such a catastrophic effect.

Kaz adoption seems to be on the other side of the spectrum. This program is stringently managed and they are extremely protective of their children. Some might say they go overboard, but it takes a lot of diligence and weeding to protect the children and the integrity of all future adoptions. They are also a very proud people, and do not want to be known as a country who cannot take care of their own. Some Kazakhstanis think a child is better off in his or her native country, even if it means living in an orphanage. It's just a different mindset. So chances are that Kaz restrictions will continue to become tighter, and timelines longer, leaving behind even more children who will never grow up in a loving family.

For more about the current state of International Adoption, check out this article: www.newsobserver.com/news/story/1004119.html

And to help support the Kaz orphans left behind, please click on the button below to either donate items or purchase their new cookbook, Cooking For Kaz: Meals for Hope. It has over 200 pages with 298 recipes, pictures, poems and information on Kazakhstan. (I submitted a recipe for the best peanut butter fudge I've ever tasted!)

Nobody Panic

This has not been confirmed by my adoption agency (who is doing a nice job of keeping in touch with us about it), but yesterday the Joint Council on International Children’s Services posted on its web site that Kazakhstan has temporarily suspended all US adoptions, effective immediately. They are not accepting any more dossiers pending the finalization of a review of adoption cases by the Kazakhstan government.

The good news is that it says they are still honoring dossiers already submitted, so we presumably will be allowed complete our adoption as planned. Any dossier that has already made it through the Kaz Consulate/Embassy will be seen through to completion. That is a big “whew” for us, but it’s also a “holy crap” for many others whose dossiers have not yet passed that milestone.

Little is known right now about why this has happened and for how long it will last. Everyone is hoping that this is just a temporary hold – perhaps for a few months at the most. Please let that be the case!

Even a temporary suspension is extra hard to hear because the last week has been a very scary one in the world of Kazakhstan adoption. Things have not worked out as hoped for some families, for different reasons. It has been devastating for them, and they have endured heartwrenching situations that one could compare emotionally to a miscarriage or even a stillbirth. I don’t want to dwell on this, but I would be remiss not to mention it because I have grown very fond of these people and my heart really aches for them.

I’ll post more on all this suspension stuff later as more information is shared. I just wanted to shed some light because I received several e-mails offering condolences from people who heard about it and are concerned about us. No worries...as far as I can tell we should be good to go.

BUT as Woody Allen says, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”

Welcome to Club Habibi

We are officially private now. It feels like we’ve gone underground into a shifty, members-only club where we must use a secret knock and meet in dark, hidden rooms -- whispering secrets and covertly conspiring about something scandalous.

I also feel like this post should be about something big and newsy to substantiate the need for privacy.

Sorry guys... I got nuthin’.

I was just thinking that with tomorrow being St. Patrick’s Day, I remembered that I found a 4-leaf clover last year. It was on May 6, 2007, while I was helping 2 of my nieces search for ladybugs in a big field. I glanced down casually and the 4-leaf clover was looking right up at me. I wasn’t even trying or thinking about it. It’s the only one I've ever found. I still have it -- pressed between the pages of a book (Thoreau's Walden.)

How is this relevant to our adoption? Well, I can't help but think that it would be neat if that date, May 6th, is our child's birth date. The timing could work, although that would mean our child is slightly older than we’re requesting. But you never know, and if the dates prove to be serendipitous nobody would ever believe me if I didn't put it in writing beforehand. Of course now that it is in writing, it probably won't happen. :-)

Here are a few photos from that day:

A Lucky Find

Poor Ladybug

Gabrielle

Kirsten

Gabrielle, Kirsten & About 15 Ladybugs Eating Oreo Crumbs

Now I just wouldn’t feel right posting photos of Kirsten and Gabrielle without also posting photos of the other cousins on Frank’s side of the family too!

Lauren & Allison

Lauren & Allison Coming After 'Unka Frankie'

And here are some of my favorite shots of them all together through the years:

Little Darlings

Sweets for Sweeties

Holiday Serious


Holiday Realistic


A Gaggle of Girls


Ganging Up on Oldest Cousin Andrew


Speaking of Cousin Andrew


Silly Geese

They are the neatest kids and we just love them to pieces. They are very excited about getting another cousin soon, and say they don't really care if it's a boy or a girl. They see the benefits of both!

So next time I will have to introduce you to our other 6 nieces and nephews on my side of the family, although they're all grown up now. One even has a baby of her own, which is making me feel way old. We spent a lot of time together when they were little - when I still lived in Indianapolis.

Frank and I love being an aunt and uncle. Having experienced two whole generations of it, we think we've had a pretty good training for the real thing. At least we hope so!

Aha!

I have an idea.

(Couldn’t resist the Aha picture. Children of the 80’s, can I hear you say ‘Take on me?’)

Ok, back to the idea.

After quickly realizing that 100 invites are not nearly enough, I brainstormed work-arounds for granting more people access when we go stealth.

So here’s the dealio: I created a dummy e-mail address on gmail, and a dummy Blogger account using that e-mail address. I will invite that “imaginary person” to our blog. Then I will send the login and password for that account to a handful of the "over 100" people. These folks can share the account to view the blog and still make comments.

As a test, Frank and I logged into a blog with the dummy account from 3 computers at the same time. There wasn't a problem, so I think it will work! (Plus my genius IT guru friend, Adrian, thinks it will be fine.) We will start off with a few users, and add more if it seems to work well. If it starts going haywire with multiple users, we will have to re-examine.

I must say that all the e-mails and comments we received from people wanting to continue following along have been so kind and thoughtful. And it’s nice to finally “meet” some of you lurkers out there. ;-)

The support we have enjoyed from everyone has been overwhelming. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Your well-wishes, prayers, good energy, positive vibes, voodoo spells or whatever else you are doing out there really keeps us jazzed. We feel it all…we really do. And we are going to need it even more in the coming weeks!

Blogging has been so fun (and a lot of work) but we so enjoy sharing our journey with others. It actually reminds me of a quote…

“Joy shared is multiplied, pain shared is divided.”
- Spider Robinson

We do look forward to being able to open this blog back up to the public when we return.

By the way, we got to see the Kieffers again this week (the 'real live Kaz family' from North Carolina!) What awesome people they are. Rhys really took to Frank, and they were so cute playing together for a long time. LeAnne said Rhys is usually a little wary of men with facial hair, but he wasn’t with the Frankster. So sweet!

I forgot to take photos, but I did add some photos of Rhys to the Kaz Cuties post, along with another famous little one who lights up the page. Are all these kids breathtaking or what?

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Dear Habibi,

Yes, I realize that I haven’t written you a little note lately. I’ve been in such an information-sharing mode and get-it-done mode. Wow, are you ever keeping me on my toes. Guess I'd better get used to it!

Oh yes, I still feel all those mushy, gushy sentiments about you. I still think about you every day. Every hour. Every few minutes. It’s almost as if you are already here, tugging at my hem. But let go now, honey, 'cause mommy has to go post this blog entry.

Going Private - P.S.

Eeek!

Blogger has recently started limiting the number of invitations you can send for private blogs to 100 people per blog. This kinda stinks. If you do not receive an invitation, please do not take it personally. We will probably have to narrow it down to those people closest to us, our longtime supporters and those who are adopting soon too.

(Has anyone had any luck getting Blogger to increase your account settings for this?)

Going Private

The time has come for us to make our blog private, as recommended by our agency. I'll probably open it back up to the public once we return, but for now it will be invitation-only starting this weekend.

If you would like an invitation, please either post a comment here that includes your e-mail address, or e-mail me at regina (at) ruopoli (dot) com. If you are someone I am not familiar with, please also include your full name, your blog address and your adoption agency. If these do not apply, then please briefly introduce yourself.

To view our blog you must sign up for a Blogger.com account if you don’t already have one. It’s totally free, fast and you can still maintain anonymity.

When looking at our blog stats I am truly amazed. We've had over 10,000 hits just since October 07! (We started the blog in May but didn't add the tracker until October.) If you click on the map with the red dots in the right margin, you can see that our visitors are from all over the world and on every continent. That's just so incredibly cool.

Thanks for understanding. See you on the flip side!

Hello MOE

As of Tuesday our dossier finally arrived at the Ministry of Education in Aqtobe. Or as I now like to call it, Rocktobe!

Now we just wait for our LOI (Letter of Invitation.) It is supposed to be issued within 8-10 weeks. It comes from the MOE, and will arrive via Andrea’s e-mail. She will then call us to break the news, and bear witness to me either squealing like an 10 year-old who just won front row tickets to Hannah Montana concert, or sniveling like Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally when she found out her ex was getting married.

Once we receive the LOI there should be minimal running around besides obtaining our visas, packing and purchasing our plane tickets to leave ASAP. Our packing list is almost all checked off and our travel documents are being apostilled. Once we get them back we will be ready to roll from a paperwork standpoint.

We are "traveling blind," which means that we won't receive a referral before we go. Instead we will meet the available children at the Baby House and decide there. We are asking for either a boy or girl of Asian/Eurasian/Caucasian descent, who is as healthy and as young as possible. (Orphaned children are placed on the Kaz adoption registry for 6 months to find local adoptive parents. Only after they come off the registry are they available for adoption internationally, so we won't meet any children younger than 6 months of age. They are more often closer to 7-9 months.)

Here's how it's all supposed to go down:

1. We fly into Almaty, and are met by an LMI facilitator who assists us until we board a small plane to Aqtobe.
2. We are met in Aqtobe by our driver, facilitator and translator who will all be working with us during our entire stay there.
3. We go to the Baby House as soon as possible. There is usually enough time to first go to our apartment to freshen up.
4. We meet with a representative from the Ministry of Education and the Director of the Baby House, and then they show us the child(ren) available who meet our requests.
5. We let them know which child feels right for us, and we consult with an International Adoption doctor in the US for an evaluation of the child's health information before a final decision is made.
   
6. As required, we spend the next 14 days bonding with our baby by visiting him/her in a playroom at the Baby House twice a day for two hours per visit.
7. After the 14 days are over we are assigned a court date, which should be within about a week. We continue our daily visits during this time.
8. We go to court and the judge (hopefully!) grants our request to adopt. (This happens 99.9% of the time unless you are disrespectful or there is an issue with your paperwork.)
9. After court there is a 15 day appeal period. This is a time during which a family member can contest the adoption, but from what I understand that is an extremely rare occurrence and this appeal period is just a formality. It used to be waived occasionally, but now that rarely happens. Both parents must be present for the court date; however, one parent can leave afterwards. So during this time Frank will fly back home and I will stay in Kaz, continuing the daily visits with our child.
   
10. After the appeal period us over, the child is legally ours and I can take him/her to the apartment! After a couple more days of paperwork and bittersweet goodbye we fly to Almaty.
11. Frank meets us back in Almaty and we spend 3-4 days there completing the US Embassy paperwork. We will have another LMI driver, translator and facilitator assisting us there.
12. We fly our excited, exhausted and homesick selves back home. As soon as we touch down on American soil, our baby is a United States citizen.
13. We hunker down quietly for a couple of weeks, get our bodies in the right time zone, develop a routine, strengthen our bond and gradually introduce our baby to the wild and wonderful world.
14. We all live happily ever after.

Through it all we will remember the Kaz adoption warning label that reads, "Your plan may differ from your reality!"


WHY SO LONG?

The Kaz adoption process is unique as far as the amount of in-country time for the parents. It will be very challenging for us, but it makes for a less stressful transition for the child, which is far more important and can positively impact cognitive development.

One reason we chose Kazakhstan is that the Baby Houses are generally very well run, impeccably kept, and the children are healthy and well cared for relative to other countries. Besides having a high caretaker-to-child ratio, the kids are given "therapy" (music, structured play, massage, etc.) to help them develop. This is a country that deeply loves its children and wants what is best for them.

Despite the excellent facilities and high quality of care, an orphanage environment is still not the same as a good home environment, so we should still expect about one month of developmental delays for every three months in the orphanage. But these kids catch up to their peers very quickly once they are home. Please take a moment to read more great info about Kaz Baby Houses here.


THE COOLEST HOLIDAY

Today is a big holiday in Kaz: International Woman’s Day. This holiday has social and political origins, but has evolved into more of an apolitical holiday that is comparable to Mother’s Day mixed with Valentine’s Day. All women are celebrated and honored with gifts and special treatment. I say right on! We should start celebrating this holiday in the USA (but not forget the socio-political angle too.)

So happy Women's Day -- especially to all the moms out there!


CONGRATULATIONS

Several of our super-supportive blogger friends are on their way to meet, or have recently met their new children! We are so happy for them and are sending our love and best wishes to Sandi, Shannon, Catalina and Calin, Karen and Bob, and Amy! There is also a lot of movin' and shakin' going on with dossiers, which is always good to hear.


I received several more photos of adorable Kaz cuties to add to my February 19 post. Scroll down if you want to smile.

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Odds & Ends

CUTE ALERT
I added more photos of recently home Kaz Cuties to my post from February 19. I've been asking for permission from parents, and it is taking me awhile to get around to asking everyone who has recently returned. I'd love to add even more photos; To help me do this more quickly, if there are any parents out there who have recently returned with a Kaz child and are okay with me sharing a photo, will you please e-mail me at regina (at) ruopoli (dot) com? I can just copy it from your blog, or you can e-mail me a favorite. All those photos are making the loading time for my front page a bit long, but it's worth it. It's fun to see all these adorable and diverse faces in one place!

MO STUFF
This Kazakhstan Air Force Pilot Navigator Wings Badge was a gift from me to Frank. Frank loves aviation and nearly earned his pilot's license several years ago. He now sticks to studying aviation history and building/flying his fleet of remote control airplanes with is flying buddies, Team Kaput. When I found this pin on eBay I just HAD to get it for him. There is a good sized Pilot School in Aqtobe where many pilots were trained during the Soviet Era. It is located very close to the Baby House, so we hope we are able to take a tour when we're there.

I found this gorgeous Mei Tai carrier on eBay too. I wanted something that distributed weight more evenly to supplement the sling we bought in Portland. I was about to buy one from babyhawk.com when I found this one. (This was the seller's photo, so I've blurred the woman's face.)



Yes, I know it's completely impractical, being made of velvet and and embellished with beading, sequins and metallic embroidery, but I couldn't resist its beauty! I might also purchase a more casual Baby Hawk, and I'm also thinking about an Ergo carrier for Frank. Men seem to prefer it. I feel like I'm getting carried away here (pun intended) but from what I hear from "baby wearer" parents, having a variety of carriers is good for the ole back and a worthy investment. I've been so good about not buying baby clothes, so I guess it had to come out somewhere!

Thanks to the tip from fellow bloggers Kim and Jamie, we found some awesome "Rockabye Baby" lullabies on iTunes that are covers of rock/alternative classics. Our favorites are Led Zepplin's Going to California, The Cure's Just Like Heaven, Coldplay's Yellow and U2's Beautiful Day. These songs work really well as lullabies and don't make you want to smash the CD player after hearing them 27 times!

Our friends, Sean and Julia, were visiting from Asheville and brought us the cute little organic cotton bear that matches our crib bedding. They also gave us the classic book "Goodnight Moon" for our growing collection. Love them both!


Our talented 10-year old niece, Kirsten, made us this beautiful piece of artwork for the baby's room. It's reversible and has 2 very different, but equally cool sides! Now I just need to frame it.


Rosie continues to pick up fun little gifts for us. A recent favorite is this funny onesie:



TIMING
It sounds like things are moving along at an encouraging pace over in Kaz. I hope this keeps up and we really do get there by spring. Good thing I have a TON of stuff to keep me busy. Too much! I'm beginning to think I won't accomplish it all. Better sign off now so I can cross off some to do's before the sun goes down.

But first, below is a short story that I see a lot these days. It's very relevant to adoption, but also to so many other areas of life.

Enjoy and apply lesson liberally. :-)


The Starfish Story
adapted from The Star Thrower by Loren C. Eiseley (1907-1977)

Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.

One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.

He came closer still and called out “Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?” The young man paused, looked up, and replied “Throwing starfish into the ocean.”

“I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?” asked the somewhat startled wise man. To this, the young man replied, “The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die.”

Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, “But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!”

At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, “It made a difference for that one.”