Holy Needlestick, Batman!

I know what we can do today! Let’s drop $630 smackaroos to go get injected with a bunch of horrible viruses!

Yes, the time had come to visit our friendly neighborhood travel clinic to get vaccinated in preparation for our adoption trip. The nice staff made this as painless as possible, and we now have superpowers against the following lovelies:

- MMR - Measles, Mumps and Rubella
- Hepatitis A & B (Just 'cause Pam Anderson has it doesn’t mean it’s cool.)
- Diphtheria & Tetanus
- Typhoid (we got capsules for this)

Check out the CDC web site that advises travelers of which vaccines they should consider for which countries. It's chock full of interesting information. For instance, did you know that September 8 was World Rabies Day??? Me neither! I would have celebrated by doing a little foaming at the mouth.

We didn’t get the Rabies vaccine since we don’t expect to do much frolicking with woodland creatures because the temperature will probably be consistently below zero while we are there (shiver me timbers!)

We will have to go back for two more Hepatitis booster shots before we’re officially through. Youch. It’s all for you, Baby R!

The Room

This part is tres exciting, no?

As Frank said, seeing the nursery come together is strangely awesome. Yes, we realize that all this hullabaloo is mostly for us. Our baby surely won't arrive criticizing the decor. We keep joking that Habibi would be content to sleep in a drawer. (Any Simpsons fans know that line???)

I had already painted the walls when we moved in 6 years ago -- waaay back when we thought we'd never want the responsibility of children. This paint job was my 3-day long, arm-breaking masterpiece, done during a time when I was addicted to the Trading Space show on HGTV. (Coincidentally, I recently participated in a day-long meeting with Laurie Smith, the much-loved, red-headed designer from that show. The company I work for is considering working with her on a project, but that's top secret right now so I can't tell you or I'd have to....you know....kill you.)

Where was I? Oh yeah, the walls. They are a faux finished, mottled Tuscan orange. I worked so hard on them and still really like them, so I don't want to re-paint until Habibi has ideas of his/her own. (I can hear it now -- "Mom, I want BLACK walls to go with my new goth look!" "No honey, just because your father and I were goth doesn't mean you can do it. It really wasn't that cool then and it's not cool now. Trust me on this.") But I digress... So we used the Tuscan orange as a jumping point for the color scheme, which is orange and cream, with touches of tan and sage. I really dig it. It's soft, warm and serene, plus it's conveniently unisex!

Here's a link to the organic cotton bedding, which coordinates perfectly. We don't really have an overall motif, but I realized that we're accumulating a few elephant things. I like elephants -- with the trunk up for good luck-- and they had fit well with my original plan to do a Moroccan room (too difficult to find baby stuff and no time to make it myself.)

Although the room is nowhere near finished, I've posted a few sneak peek photos below for your enticement! The adorable, blue ribbon winning painting above the changing table was done by Frank when he was about 4. It was for a state fair contest, and sparked the beginning of his art career. All together now: Awwwww!

Last I heard our dossier is still in the translation process. Our whole life story is currently being turned into Cyrillic, which kinda looks like something you'd see on the master controls of an alien spaceship on an original episode of Star Trek.

We love all the comments. Keep 'em coming!

Франк и Реджина
(Frank and Regina)

Click to enlarge

A Stranger in a Strange Land

Hi everyone. This is Frank. I thought I would give Regina a break and post this entry.

I've never been in Babies R Us until last Saturday. We went shopping for a crib. We were excited and it was fun, but surreal.

I couldn't believe we were actually going to buy a crib.

I was a stranger in a strange land. It started the minute we got out of the car. Everyone in the parking lot was unloading strollers from their trunks and loading babies into them. They were streaming in from all directions. This was definitely not the Home Depot! We walked in the front door and stood there looking around. I felt disoriented. Where was the hardware department? Where were the tools? Regina made a beeline for a little outfit that caught her eye, and I scanned the horizon feeling disbelief. I had no idea you needed so much stuff for one little person. Finally, I saw the furniture in the back. I pulled my wife away from the cute clothes and we got down to business.

I couldn't believe we were actually shopping for a crib.

After making two circles around the department, we decided on a crib and a matching dresser/changing table. They were a nice wood tone, the perfect style and we both were happy. Whew, task accomplished! Oh, but then Regina informed me that we also needed to get a mattress, mattress pad, changing pad, changing pad cover and an entire bedding set with a sheet, bedskirt, bumper pad and blanket. You mean that stuff is not included? And what's a bumper pad? Does this have something to do with cars?

A few more decisions were made, and with my Honda Element packed like a sausage we carted our loot home. I got down to business putting the crib together. Easy as pie.

But I couldn't believe I was putting together a crib.

Then came the changing table, which was more of a pain but we got it done. We added all the soft stuff, arranged the room in a trial layout and surveyed our results.

Very nice. But I couldn't believe I had just put together a crib. OUR crib.

Since then, several times a day we find ourselves looking in the bedroom. We say to each other, "Hey, did you know there is a crib in here?" Seeing this tangible evidence of a future child is bizarre for both of us. Not bad bizarre -- good bizarre. It's kind of like when we decided to have a family. The world was suddenly different.

I think we will feel the same way when there is an actual baby inside that crib. We will look at each other and say, "Psssst....there's a baby in that room!" I guess by then I will feel like an old pro at Babies R Us. I might even have to be dragged away from the cute outfits.

Edumacation

Talk about a learning experience.

I am a research junkie anyway, but in the past 6 months I have read hundreds (thousands?) of articles, websites, blogs, books and web group postings about anything and everything to do with our adoption. Not a single important decision has been made without sufficient research.

I've found the adoptive community to be incredibly supportive and helpful, especially through the several internet message boards for adoptive parents in Kazakhstan. Everyone is so generous in sharing their experience and advice on every little detail you can imagine.

I am no expert yet, but I've learned more than I ever thought possible about different adoption programs & processes, the best agencies for each program, the political history, culture and customs of Kazakhstan, international travel tips, the best strollers/carseats/bottles/cribs/food, which pediatricians specialize international adoptees, potential medical problems and so on... I even know the difference between an embassy and a consulate, as well as how to pronounce 'apostille' and what the hell it means!

If that's not enough to make your head spin, we were also required by our agency to complete an online course from www.adopteducation.com. This was nerve-wracking since the topics were mostly about problems that can arise in some children from being institutionalized. Most of the research is derived from extreme situations, so we had to keep this in mind as we read about a few jaw-dropping cases. We took this information seriously, but we certainly can't dwell in our fears of a worst case scenario, just as a pregnant couple should not dwell in theirs. You just have to have faith, trust and pixiedust. :-)

So our next big thing is to learn a little conversational Russian! (It's more widely-spoken than Kazakh, the official language.) We will have a translator with us most days, but we will spend a lot of time over there and will probably need it. Plus, it's the respectful thing to do, and being able to say even just few social niceties is deeply appreciated by the locals.

We have only just begun dipping our toes into parenting techniques, the best toys, books, schools, local events and resources. We're even noticing signs in restaurants that promote free kids night! A new door has been opened and it leads to an enormous world of information. It can be overwhelming. We will prepare as best we can, but in the end we will have to trust our intuition and just start parenting. Imagine that!

Speaking of Russian, our dossier is officially in the translation phase! I wonder how you say "woo-hoo" in Russian. "Voo-hoo?"

The Name Game

Please cast your votes in our new baby name polls! They are in the right margin of this page.

We feel that a uniquely beautiful name is a lifelong gift you can give your child. We've narrowed it down to a few top runners, but please tell us what you think by voting for your 5 favorites for each gender.

We also welcome other suggestions. Feel free to share them with us by adding them as a comment on this post.

Just for fun, here are some of the duds that didn't make the cut:

- Bootsy
- Nipsy
- Onions
- Tron
- Tootie
- SuperDoppler5000
- Mr. Higgins
- Gaylord
- Chimenea
- Kokopelli
- Chachi
- Anorexia

Maybe next time we'll go with Nipsy Tron or Tootie Chimenea.

Check out this neat baby name site:
http://www.ssa.gov/OACT/babynames/
I like to browse the top 1,000 list of names from the 1800's (on the bottom right). They had some pretty funky-fresh monikers for a bunch of pioneers!

Timeline (Updated Regularly)

I thought this would be a good time to share with you our adoption timeline. I will keep this updated as we pass new milestones.

THE PAST

April 21, 2007 -- Application sent to Little Miracles
May 3, 2007 -- Home Study Home Visit
June 4, 2007 -- Agency Contract Signed / Sent
June 28, 2007 -- Filed I-600A Form
June 12, 2007 -- Home Study Complete
July 13, 2007 -- Immigration Fingerprints
July 27, 2007 -- Received I-171H
July 29, 2007 -- FBI Fingerprints
Aug. 20, 2007 -- Received FBI Fingerprint Clearance
Aug. 23, 2007 -- Dossier Completed & Sent to Coordinator
Aug. 31, 2007 -- Dossier Sent for Apostilles by Coordinator
Sept. 11-16, 2007 -- Dossier in Final Review by Agency
Sept. 17-Oct. 5, 2007 -- Dossier in Translation
Oct. 5-Nov. 7, 2007 -- Dossier in Limbo Waiting on Missing Info
Nov. 8-Dec.10 -- Dossier at the Consulate of Kazakhstan in NY
Dec 11, 2007-Feb 11, 2008 -- Dossier at the MFA in Kaz
Feb 12-Feb 18, 2008 -- Dossier held for region search
Feb 19, 2008 -- Assigned to Aqtobe
March 4, 2008 -- Dossier at MOE
May 8, 2008 -- Received Letter of Invitation
May 8, 2008 - Received LOI!
May 14, 2008 - Received Visa/Left USA
May 16, 2008 – Meetcha Day
July 14, 2008 – Court Day
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE FUTURE

? Estimated July 30, 2008 -- Gotcha Day
? Estimated August 15, 2008 -- Touchdown USA

“Is there anything better than to be longing for something, when you know it is within reach?” - Greta Garbo

Music

I recently sent a copy of my jazz band's CD our adoption coordinator. She left me a sweet voice mail thanking me, and saying that not only did they love it, but it sparked an impromptu dance party for her children and her friend's children who were visiting. She said there were 4 adorable Kazakh darlings dancing and twirling to our songs and having an absolute ball! How cool is that?

One of the most enjoyable things for me when my band performs live is when there are children in the audience -- and especially when they start dancing and getting lost in the music. It will be marvelous to share the beauty of music with our child, and see it touch our lives in even more profound ways.

Along those lines, I recently created an iTunes playlist with songs that I find inspiring or touching in regards to the adoption experience. It has been our life soundtrack for the past month! Most of these songwriters probably had very different intended meanings for these songs, but it's nifty how the interpretation can shift so easily. Some of them make me smile, some make me emotional, and others are sentiments that I spiritually send across the world, on the warm summer wind, to our little habibi.

They include:

- L-O-V-E, by Nat King Cole
- Waiting, by the Devlins
- These are Days, by 10,000 Maniacs
- Someone to Watch Over Me, by Willie Nelson
- Faith, Trust and Pixiedust, by Solveig Slettahjell
- Breathe Me, by Sia
- By Your Side, by Sade
- Pink Moon, by Nick Drake
- Sprout and the Bean, by Joanna Newsom
- Mushaboom, by Feist
- Embracable You, by Elena Welch
- Yellow, by Coldplay
- Mr. Sandman, by Anita O'Day
- Here Comes the Sun, by the Beatles
- The Story, by Brandi Carlisle
- Why, by Frankie Avalon
- Upside Down, by Jack Johnson
- Pretty Baby, by Al Jolson
- I Love, by Tom T. Hall
- Mission Bell, by Donnie Brooks
- Dear Someone, by Gillian Welch
- I Believe in You, by Don Williams
- Just Remember I Love You, by Firefall
- I've Got You Under My Skin, by Frank Sinatra
- Songbird, by Eva Cassidy
- The Blower's Daughter, by Damien Rice
- Moonglow, by Vintage Velvet (us!)

P.S. Our dossier was deemed A-OK today! No do-overs. Yahoooo!!!

PAPER PREGNANT!

BOOM-chaka-laka-laka
BOOM-chaka-laka-laka
BOOM-chaka-laka-laka
BOOM!

I think we can say that we are now officially paper pregnant!!! We FedExed the completed dossier today! (Well... yesterday, since it's one minute after midnight.) I gave the sealed envelope a hearty good luck kiss before sending it off on its multi-stop journey. First it goes to our adoption coordinator, who will obtain the apostilles (state certifications) for us on all of the notarized documents. We purchased this service from our agency to ensure that it's done right, and I'm really glad we did because I'm a tad burned out on paperwork right now. Then it gets sent for translation into Russian, and then I'm a little fuzzy on the exact order of its journey to Kazakhstan, but I'll post that when I get it straight.

This was such an exciting step, but I hear that it's very common for dossier papers to be done incorrectly and require a do-over. Eeek! The rules are so rigid (i.e. if the notary's stamp has Jane E. Doe, and she signs it Jane Doe, without the E, then that's not acceptable. Also, the written dates must be spelled out, such as August instead of 8, etc.) But I am a very detail-oriented person, plus we sent proofs to our coordinator for pre-approval, so I'm hopeful that we will get the A+/gold star/good student award the first time around. Please keep your fingers crossed ... and your toes ... and your eyes ... whatever you can cross!

We thank you for all the lovely, kind words and comments on this blog, in person and in e-mails. They truly mean so much to us!

The Eyes Have It

This experience has required us to reflect upon racism more than ever, because our child will most likely have Asian or Eurasian features. (The ethnic background of most of the children available for adoption is Asian-Kazakh; however, occasionally Russian, German, Korean, Tatar and Gypsy children are available. Most children are born of mixed races and there are more than 80 different nationalities in Kazakhstan. It is truly a tapestry of people!)

I'm anticipating that our new parental roles will require us to be better advocates of racial tolerance and equality. Part of our required education is about how to best handle racial insensitivity, and how to teach our child to do the same. I just keep thinking that they are preparing us to deal with something that shouldn’t even exist.

Frank and I look Caucasian enough to not personally have to deal with racism every day of our lives. I'd certainly like to think that we are plenty smart, loving and strong enough to prevent racism, discrimination and bigotry from happening to our child. I also like to think that our child will avoid it simply because he/she will be so amazing and lovable. I even hold out hope that our society is progressing quickly enough for race to be a non-issue. But realistically, it will most certainly happen.

It may be just a stare; it may be a classmate who asks where his/her chopsticks are at lunch; it could be a teacher who makes assumptions about his/her math and science skills; it might be a parent who doesn't want his child to date ours; it could be job discrimination; it may be the spilling of poisonous, hateful words or even violence. Asians face a different type of prejudice than other minority groups in America, but it’s all just as bewildering and disheartening. I can't help but wonder what if we adopt a second child someday who is Hispanic? Middle-Eastern? Black?

“Are you black? I don’t see color. I will assume you’re black because you are telling me you are black. I don't see race; people tell me I'm white and I believe them, because I belong to an all-white country club.”
- Comedian Stephen Colbert to guest Eleanor Holmes Norton

Unlike what my buddy Stephen Colbert jokingly says, I do see race. But what I see is the beautiful diversity of each person’s physical being, and the richness of so many vibrant cultures and customs. It’s like we are all different flowers…none more beautiful than the other. Why do some people need to feel that there is one supreme flower? Why can’t we just live happily nestled all together within our glorious bouquet, appreciating each other’s beauty and realizing how magnificent we are as a whole?

I must say that I truly cannot wait for the moment when I behold the exotic beauty of our child’s face. I can't wait to tenderly kiss those almond eyes, brush that shiny dark hair, and hold against my cheek that soft, sweet skin of a warmer hue. I so look forward to loving and nurturing our lovely little blossom into full bloom, and helping him or her find just the right spot in the world's bouquet.

I-171H / More Fingerprints / Our First Baby Things

Well folks, the I-171H form showed up in the mail Friday! This is fantastic, but it has completely changed what our "golden ticket" will be. Now, the very last piece of paper we will need for our dossier to be complete is our FBI Background Check Clearance. We got our paper fingerprints done for that today at our friendly neighborhood police station. We should receive the clearance notice within 2-3 weeks.

Here's a photo of Frank getting manhandled by Officer Magwood. I must say it's unsettling when you walk into a room with a big cop and he starts snapping on rubber gloves. We were already in a silly mood and grinning like idiots even before the rubber gloves. We felt like such nerdy, non-criminals in that dingy, cheerless and very worldly police station. The Barney Miller theme song started running through my head as I glanced around the room: Bad fluorescent lighting, puke green tiles and putty colored metal filing cabinets everywhere. I had the uncontrollable desire to put heart-shaped lollipops in all the officer's mail slots and sprinkle gold glitter around the place! But despite the dreary, industrial surroundings, the receptionist and Officer Magwood were both very friendly. It's always nice when you encounter pleasant people during this process. It may seem like a small thing, but it really helps make it a positive experience. (Sorry the photo is fuzzy...I keep forgetting my camera and having to use my cell phone camera.)

So on another note, we bought our first official BABY THINGS this past weekend on a trip to Portland, Oregon! (By the way, Portland is such a nice city... and it has this amazing, huge, authentic Japanese Garden that is absolutely breathtaking.)

The first thing we bought is a baby sling. It's a new incarnation of a very old child-carrying device used in many cultures. It's what all the "granola moms" use. (Yes, we are going to be a natural-minded parents even though we don't wear Birkenstocks or tie dye!) We came across them at the big Saturday Market in Portland, and the woman who makes them was so sweet. Here is her web site: www.activespiritbabyslings.com

Then we ducked into Finnegan's, one of the largest independently-owned toy stores in the country. It was fun, even if it was a bit of sensory overload. The items we couldn't resist were:

"Lencho the Lion" - Plush Toy/Pillow/Blanket Combo: I dig things that are multi-purpose (such as reversible clothes) and this little guy is so perfect for our travels to Kazakhstan because he's not only freaking adorable, but efficient too -- three things in one. I think we're going to rename him Orion. Orion the Lion! See how he works, and see more of his friends at www.zoobiepets.com




Wind-Up Toys: We could not stop playing with these hilarious vintage-style toys in the store. And we still can't stop playing with them now that we're home! We really must put them away so we don't wear them out. Frank and I both love vintage toys, so no doubt our child will have all the classics, from a Radio Flyer Wagon to the Schoolhouse Rock videos.

(Reminder: Click on any photo to see it larger.)

Here are links to videos of some of these wind-up toys in action:
- Robot: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYdyTFLPeCU
- Clown on Horse: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUKqsSSX-dE
- Duck: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJNSsSRR4xw
- T-Rex: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lah-wg8r19Y
- Tick: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=My2-M9fdvEk

Oh, and we've started calling our little Ruopoli-to-be by a new nickname. It's "Habibi" which means "my darling" or "my sweetheart" in Arabic. It was the name of a Lebanese restaurant we dined at during our Portland trip. It's pronounced Ha-bee-bee. Try saying it and not smiling! :-)

Pleasant Surprise

I received a very surprising e-mail from our social worker on Monday. She forwarded me an e-mail she received from USCIS that read:

As a courtesy, this is to inform you that I have adjudicated the Ruopoli's Form I-600A; Application for Advance Processing of Orphan Petition and it has been Approved. An electronic Visa 37 transmission has been sent to the National Visa Center (NVC) in New Hampshire for the Ruopoli’s adoption from Almaty, Kazakhstan. The Ruopoli's will be receiving their I-171H approval notice in several days.

Have a wonderful day,
District Adjudications Officer
SC's Inter-Country Adoptions Officer
U.S. Department of Homeland Security
U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services


What the... WOW. Shocking. Really shocking! I must have read it 20 times. This is big, wonderful news! It is extremely rare that the I-171H comes this quickly. It's practically unheard of. But what it means is that, as long as everything else goes smoothly, we could actually be traveling to Kaz this winter rather than in the spring -- many months before we thought! Perhaps even before the end of the year if we're lucky. Holy Ruopoli!!! And because the minimum adoptable age is 6 months, this would also mean that our baby has most certainly been born already, is at least a few months old right now, and at this very moment is waiting for us to become a forever family.

Wow.

If I didn't think it was corny as hell, I would post the lyrics to the song Somewhere Out There. It's already bad enough that I'm using way too many exclamation points throughout this blog. :-) And smiley faces. But how else can you convey such intense emotion? How??? A linguist would have a field day with adoption blogs.

This news made me feel like somebody pushed a giant, cosmic fast-forward button. Not that I mind. It's just a little disorienting and gave us both that "zoinks!" reaction you see in cartoons. But the best part is that this precious child is beginning to feel very real to us. Adding to that feeling, we bought our very first baby things this weekend! I'll write more about them and post photos of them once we get them downloaded.

So the I-171H form should be in our mailbox by the weekend. Zoinks!

Fun with Fingerprints

We had our fingerprints taken last Friday, the 13th! Here's a photo of us outside the USCIS office in West Ashley just after we finished. They wouldn't let us take photos inside -- it is the Department of Homeland Security after all! We had to sign in, get wanded for weapons, and leave our cell phones in the lobby with the security guard. The other photo is of the main entrance to the building, which is a very nice, large office building with beautiful landscaping. Makes for a pleasant experience, and I must say the staff was very quick, professional and courteous.

Funny, they call it having your “biometrics” taken, which is very appropriate since it was done electronically. You place your fingers on this futuristic piece of glass and your prints appear on the computer screen and are captured digitally. First they do them all together, and then one at a time. I felt like I should have gotten into my flying car afterward and jetted off to another galaxy -- or at least another time zone (cue music from the Jetsons.)

We now have to go down to the police station to get more fingerprints done -- but using old-fashioned ink and paper. These will be sent off for an FBI Background Check. These are also the fingerprints we will carry with us overseas, but since they expire after 6 months we may have to get them re-done before we travel. Yes, very redundant and strange I know, but we're just trying to go with the flow and not question the inefficiencies of this process too much.

Frank's renewed passport came in today! It took 3 weeks longer than mine, although we applied at the exact same time and place. Weird. Speaking of weird, his passport photo looks so funny because there is a big shadow that makes his neck look as thick as a linebacker's. We're just glad it's here, and would gladly put a neck-thickening prosthesis on him if we had to in order to get through security!

We are getting so close to completing our dossier, we can almost taste it. We have just a few more items to complete, but the biggest thing we're waiting on our elusive I-171H Form, also known as the Notice of Favorable Determination Concerning Application for Advance Processing of Orphan Petition. (Who names these forms???) The USCIS will mail this form to us after they marry our Homestudy with our previously submitted I-600A Form and our Jetsons fingerprints. The I-171H will most likely be the last piece of the dossier puzzle -- the Golden Ticket!

Once we have everything, and then have it all notarized, we will send our entire dossier off to our coordinator to proof. Then she will send everything off to be Apostilled, which is a process by which the state verifies that all the notarizations and documents are valid. I know, it's overkill, but again that's just how it is. There's no need to waste precious energy lamenting about it.

Our adoption coordinator says we're coming along very quickly on our paperwork. That was certainly nice to hear. We have so much more to go, but progress feels good!