It's official ... The first set of many papers have been signed and sent. We are elated that we have made the decision to become parents through international adoption! If all goes as planned, we will be a family of 3 about this time next year!Yes we, the poster couple for the "We love kids, but don't want any" demographic were shocked to realize that the thought of parenthood had crept into our heads, set up camp and grew rather stealthily until one day we were hit by the proverbial brick wall. What a dramatic change of heart one conversation can bring. Once we opened our minds to the possibility (and mulled it over for a few weeks to make sure it wasn't temporary insanity) and we magically crossed over into another world. You may have actually felt a shift in the space/time continuum. If there's one thing we've learned in life, it is to never say never!
We are absolutely over the moon. Adoption is something we both feel passionate about and compelled to do, especially since Frank was adopted. It just feels right for us, and we are thrilled to be able to offer a child a loving home and a chance to reach his/her full potential.
We plan to adopt a child from the country of Kazakhstan, which is snuggled between China and Russia. We lucked into this program because, the two biggest programs -- China and Guatemala – are experiencing major complications and slowdowns (the wait for China is about 2 1/2 years right now), which led us explore this one. It is actually better for us in many ways. It's just more expensive and requires more travel time, which is why many people don’t choose it. The children receive great care and there are many healthy children available of all ages. The age of our child will probably be from 9-18 months. We are open to a boy or a girl, but are leaning toward a boy as our first. Because Kazakhstan is located between China and Russia the children are usually a beautiful mix of Asian and Caucasian, with many other ethnicities mixed in as well.
Adoption is unfamiliar territory for some of our loved ones, so this process might seem strange and scary to some. Yes, it’s different, and there are a lot of questions. It’s not always a perfect process or even a perfect child (as with biological children) but we do know that it will be an amazing journey full of just as much love and joy as we can bear.
Many people ask, "Why not adopt domestically?" We are certainly not opposed to that route, but we chose international adoption for now after a great deal of research. You see, private domestic adoptions have changed a lot in the past 10-20 years, generally becoming more open – meaning that the birthparents are often involved, or at least in occasional contact with the child for the rest of his/her life. This can work out great, but it’s certainly more of an emotional risk. We’ve spoken to many parents who have adopted from both avenues, and we have determined that international seems less risky, which is exactly why it has grown so much in popularity.
When the time comes to go to Kazakhstan, we will have a “blind travel” process. This allows us to meet several of the children at the orphanage (they call them baby houses) and discover who we feel a connection with. This will be tough, but we feel it’s a more organic and natural process, and many parents say that the child actually chooses them! We like that Kazakhstan requires a bonding period, where adoptive parents routinely visit with the child in the orphanage for 2 weeks before taking custody and going through the court process in-country. This helps ease the child’s transition, as well as the parents' transition.
Frank and I have no doubt that we and our families will love and cherish an adopted child as wholly and fully as a biological child. We know that it just doesn’t matter if the child grows under my heart, or in our hearts. The stork may have a little further to fly, but we are eagerly awaiting this extra special delivery!
We appreciate all the amazing support we have received from many of our loved ones so far. It means so much to us to have your hearts with us on this marvelous journey!
Hugs,
Regina & Frank
