NEVER SAY NEVER: January 2009

Hello good people of the world! Happy New Year to you all, and Happy New President!!!

We had an enjoyable Christmas holiday. We took our first family road trip and drove up to Indianapolis to visit my family. It's a 12+ hour drive, so we thought it wise to split it into 2 days. It's hard to fly with our dogs, and we wouldn't dream of leaving them behind. It was frigidly cold during the trip, so it was tough to be cooped up most of the time in my parent's house. But we loved spending quality time with "mamaw" and "papaw" as Milo so cutely pronounced grandma and grandpa. It seemed like he remembered them from their visit to Charleston for his homecoming. He was really comfortable with them and I just love watching them together. I desperately wish they lived closer.

Our big celebration was Christmas Eve at my sister's house, where Milo met all of his family. He quickly got the hang of opening gifts. He received many wonderful things and lots of love from everyone. He was the center of attention and his exuberant personality shone brightly as usual. He did get overstimulated, but behaved pretty well for being in a totally new environment, with all the excitement and new faces.

Quality Time with Grandma

Naughty or Nice?

Loving Grandpa's Giant Remote

At My Sister's House

Sweet Boy

Swinging with Uncle Mark and Daddy

Showing Cousin Carissa How it's Done

Sharp Dressed Man

My Sister's Beautiful Tree

Rockin' Gift from Grandparents

Hot Chocolate

Milo did splendidly during the car trip! I sat in the back with him to help keep him entertained, and we borrowed a portable DVD player from a friend. It was a hit and it helped more than we expected. The movies Cars (a great little movie) and Thomas the Tank Engine (a strange little series) are now his favorites! (He has begged for -- and watched -- both of them almost every day since.) It was when we returned home that he lost it. All the excitement and relief to be home must have caught up with him. He was unsettled for two days.

To ring in the New Year we just stayed home and watched the ball drop on television (Ryan Seacrest is a sorry substitute for Dick Clark!) At midnight we kissed, and then tiptoed into Milo's room and gave him a little kiss too. For me the dawning of a New Year, while fun, usually feels just like any average moment in time. It's the spring season that feels like the year's fresh start in my mind. But for some reason the birth of 2009 felt fresh and new to me this year. I'm not sure why, but surely it has something to do with all the drama of 2008. :-)

Sweet Milo is thriving and growing like a weed. He is now 29 months old, and has been home for 5 months. Since coming home he has gone up 2 shoe sizes (from a 5 to a 7.) Also, he is now wearing 24 mos. clothing instead of 12-18 months, although he's long and lean and needs adjustable waist pants. He still eats well, but his body type is just stretching out all the baby fat. He is very strong and has great muscle tone, especially in his legs. That's probably because he squats down a lot to play (It must be genetic because in Kazakhstan all the men are always squatting. This is even how they hang out to chat on a street corner together.) He still wears a size 3 diaper because his of his tiny hiney, but we are almost ready for a size 4. We have used mostly Pampers, but tried many other brands. We found that Luvs seem to be just as good for less money, and we also really like the 7th Generation chlorine-free brand. They're expensive though. Speaking of diapers, a more focused potty training regimen is about to begin -- really! I hope it won't be too much of a struggle. He sits on the potty fine now if we take him, but not for long. He will go if he has to, but won't let us know ahead of time.

He was recently evaluated by a speech therapist. She determined that his language skills already fall within the normal range for his age. It's the low end of normal, but that's still amazing! She will check back a few times over the next few months just to make sure he is still on target. Our Early Intervention therapist thinks he is progressing enough to no longer qualify for services soon, which was exciting to hear! We also started seeing an Occupational Therapist (via this same Early Intervention program.) She is helping us with Milo's sensory-seeking behaviors and with finding tricks and activities for calming him when he gets overstimulated.

All of these services have stemmed from the No Child Left Behind Act, and are available to any child in the USA who qualifies. They bill your insurance, and whatever is not covered is picked up by the state. The therapists come to our home too if you prefer it, so it is no cost and no hassle. In South Carolina you go through BabyNet, but I'm not sure about other states. Milo barely qualified as "delayed" but I didn't want to take any chances, so I went ahead with the services. He certainly seems to be caught up now in just about every area.

Our biggest news is that we decided to put Milo in daycare for 1 day a week on Mondays. Last week was our first time. Although he cried for a few moments he did well the rest of the day! He loves being around children and we think it will help his socialization skills, not to mention give me a needed break and allow me the time to complete my freelance work and other projects uninterrupted. The constant juggling and late nights working were just too stressful. I just needed 1 full day a week to focus. Can you tell I'm feeling guilty about it? I know I shouldn't, and that it is the right balance for us all.

We started participating in a very active local playgroup for "natural-minded moms," which has been really nice. They have a Yahoo Group I've followed for a long time and I finally jumped into their events. Milo also starts Kindermusik in 2 weeks. This program is highly recommended by many people, so I really look forward to it. Milo is still very sociable, although now he is sometimes shy at first. This is new, but it's actually a good thing. As many of you know "indiscriminate friendliness" is common among adopted children who have had many caretakers. Some degree of "hiding behind mom's skirt" is healthy, and he definitely does that now.

It is fascinating to see his personality continue to emerge. He is all boy, whether talking about his preferred toys or his behaviors. All except for the shoe obsession ... he still loves shoes. But I guess that's not really gender-specific at this age. The other day I walked into the living room to see him standing in front of the TV wearing in my favorite heels, watching Handy Manny. I had a good chuckle and grabbed the camera.

Milo seems to be very mechanically inclined. He wants to figure out how most toys work rather than play with them. He still loves music, dancing and books too, but we see a strong technical side emerging. He surprises us with how much he can figure out. He has recently become fiercely independent ("I do it!") even when he is unable to "do it." I let him try, and of course I help him when he finally asks.

Milo still loves to laugh and be a silly clown. His belly laugh lights up every cell in my body. He is still incredibly curious and fearless, with a "sieze the day" attitude. But he can be very strong-willed and persistent in trying to get his way. Oh yes, a stubborn little mule! He is learning to manipulate too. It's funny (but hard) to see him being "dishonest." For instance he asks for a hug when he really just wants to get to whatever is on the countertop I'm standing next to. Or he says he's hungry just for attention.

He has reached a whole new level with giving and receiving affection. He was always affectionate, but when he sits on my lap, he now reaches back and pulls my face down to his and presses my cheek against his cheek. I have always done this, and now he seems to crave it. It's divine. The last couple of months he has preferred mommy to daddy, which is not unusual but it was hard on Frank. This has become better balanced again, much to Frank's relief.

Milo is still a very active boy who needs constant sensory experiences. I did some research and my theory is that it’s from being understimulated as a baby, causing him to be hypo-sensitive and require lots of input now. Over time we have definitely seen that he is growing much calmer and more able to focus. He has had many laid-back days lately. On the days when he does become a whirlwind, I can tell the minute he wakes up that his mind is racing and that it's going to be a rough day. It doesn't seem to be sleep-related (still sleeps like a rock) but we can't pinpoint what sets him off in a tizzy some days.

Well, it was bound to happen. Frank and I had our first round of parenting-related spats. That was interesting. I went back and read our November 27, 2007 post where I made some predictions about this. I also re-read all the wise comments. It helped me remember that this is all part of the experience of parenthood. We worked things out of course, and are wiser from it. We had another date night to attend a friend's wedding recently. Milo cried when we left, but not for long. He did great with his sitters (Frank's brother and his 2 daughters) and Frank and I enjoyed our time immensely. We have a goal of getting out together once a month.

After hitting the ground running, we have hit a pretty comfortable stride as a family. Milo seems very content too. I often find myself just staring at my beautiful, brilliant son. I guess it's not in bad taste to gush about his gorgeousness, intelligence or charm since he is not my genetic offspring! I just can't help it. I am in awe. I am so humbled by the privilege of being his mother. He is a very special boy.

Until next time, enjoy these photos of his first ever ride on his tricycle. Notice the "Mater" shoes from the movie Cars? Another great gift from my parents.

I've added a "Followers" tool to the sidebar for anyone who wants to be notified of blog updates. Oh, and by the way Frank and I joined Facebook, so if you're on it look us up. Cheers from Charleston!

P.S. Did anyone out there send us the "Fridge Phonics" set from Target as a Christmas gift? It had the wrong packing list inside and we have no idea who it came from.