For us, the decision to become parents was a far bigger one than the decision to adopt.Until recent years, we were both pretty decided about not wanting to take on the full responsibility of kids, although we love them and enjoyed our aunt/uncle roles immensely. Being the youngest in each of our families, we watched our older siblings take on the joys and pains of parenthood, so we never had idealistic notions about how children would change our lives. Plus, our lives were already so full of things that made us happy and content, and we had not felt the overwhelming desire to have kids.
We had many plans that didn’t include children, and so our vision of our future had to go through a dramatic paradigm shift when the desire did kick in - especially from an economic standpoint. That's because our "master plan" had been to continue to mindfully live below our means in order to be 100% debt-free within 4-6 years so we could semi-retire very early in our mid-forties and set out on our dreams of traveling the world. Well, that dream has definitely shifted to planning to support a child or two for the next ... oh say 20 years! So it was goodbye to the around-the-world journey, and hello to the (even more exciting) journey of parenthood! It was a choice we were thrilled to make, but it wasn't without a few hesitations at first while kissing the other dream goodbye.
The shift didn't happen overnight. We actually first looked into adoption about 4 years ago. We were both profoundly moved by several “signs” that spoke deeply to us, one right after the other. But we soon had second thoughts, filed away all of our research, and went about our busy, child-free lives. Occasionally the idea would resurface, but it would quickly be obscured again by the bustle of daily living.
On the night we unlocked our hearts for good, we were watching some old family movies that Frank was transferring to DVD for his family. As I watched the adorable footage of toddler Frankie playing t-ball, I had a very emotional reaction. I suddenly felt as if I were watching our child on that TV screen. After a long, powerful conversation, both of our hearts were opened beyond the point of return.
I thought I would share with our wonderful blog readers the video that started it all! Funny how Frank’s personality is already evident, as he returns the cone to its proper place before running. Yes, he still runs like that, and yes, I still want to squeeze him every time I watch this!
15 comments:
awww that is an adorable video!! He is just precious (and still is!!!)
What a cool story to share. It's funny how life is, and how we have in mind what we think we want, but how that can totally change!
You will make such wonderful parents-and hey-you can travel with the kids-and when they leave for college (if there's any money left)
Very cool story-thanks for sharing. Ya'll are such a neat couple.
I love that you shared this. What a cutie little Frankie is and you can certainly see his mellow, sweet personality even then. I love how he methodically resets the cone each time after he hits it. You are both so unique and special and you will make awesome parents. And the travel WILL continue - and you have plenty of babysitters anytime you even just need a date night (which is an ABSOLUTE must). Y'all will only grow together as you become parents, and what a splendid adventure it will be.
Thank you for sharing this precious moment which is so meaningful for you.
I also love to travel, but lets dont give up! There are so many parents who are traveling with their children! And yes, there will be a time when they go to college, as Susan said -even though this never crossed my mind yet :)). I can not even imagine or make any plans on how life will be next year. But I cant wait for next Chrismas, everything will be completely diferent :).
What an adorable video! What a great story. :)
That is the cutest video! Absolutely adorable . . . I can see how it provided that spark you needed to pursue parenthood. And, yes, you can travel (sometime and maybe not as extensively), but until then you might find that everyday with your little one is a trip in and of itself.
How sweet!I also love how he restes the cone after each hit, and that is the cutest run ever!
And as I was watching the video, I was thinking about what a wonderful gift you will be bringing to another little girl, just like you- at that age, who will someday be all grown up and watching a video of your little cutie when he was small. And there you are putting a baseball cap on that little guy. Full circle.
Great video. Life is all about shifts - have you ever seen anyone's live unveil in a straight line? It doesn't happen. If YOU weren't making the shift some force of nature would! You can always travel with the baby or two, but this is "the" time for you to make your shift to include children in your lives and I, for one, think you made the right choice. You both have so much to give. And, see Kazi - see the world!
Very cute!!!! He looks like he is about to lose his shorts!!!
That is super cute. You both are going to make exceptional parents!
He he he - glad I got to see that - I never saw Pop's video package Frank made. So cute. It almost makes me want another Ruopoli - oh wait. Nope. He he he. Love that I can hold and snuggle the next little one entering your lives though! Can't wait!!!! Talk to you soon. Sorry we didn't connect last night.
I loved reading this post. It is amazing that people reach the adoption decision in so many ways! I came to my decision sitting in the doctor's office waiting to have the fertility "talk", reading an article about International adoption. It really didn't matter what the doctor told me after I was moved to tears from the article. At that point I made up my mind. I also stole the magazine...I hope my copay covers that cost!
That is the best running form ever!
I think we all have taken different paths to parenthood - I know I have been saving frequent flier miles for YEARS for my perfect monthlong trip to a little island in Greece (ala Shirley Valentine). Alas, not only can I not use them for Kaz, I doubt I will get to Greece anytime soon, if ever. But that's okay, I'll have Kazarina, watching her make sandcastles at our Florida beach on weekends. Perfecto.......
How cute. I love when he knocked the tee over and then hit it 3 more times. Or when he so calmly walked over to pick up the ball. very cute
We can somewhat identify as we had plans to retire and travel - though I think it'll be that much more fun with kiddo along! We've adjusted the expectation to perhaps cut back on work and have more 'family time' for travel and push true retirement off for a few years.
That video is so cute!! I loved it. Thank you for sharing. I completely understand what you're saying about the shift. I have friends who say rhetorically, "Now that you're a parent, do you ever wonder what you did with all your time?" My response back is, "I remember EVERY thing I used to do with my time!" I don't think I'll ever forget the the options I didn't choose and I would be lying if I said that on occasion I don't miss it, but when my daughter gives me a big grin, or blows me a kiss, my heart feels like it is going to burst. That is the most wonderful feeling on the face of the earth.
Happy Holidays!
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