5 ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ...

Last we heard our LOI is still processing happily along, and we are still on schedule.

It's hard to believe we are really this close. We are still very calm, although we are definitely abuzz with tying up loose ends, dotting i’s, crossing t’s, making lists and checking them thrice. You wouldn’t believe all the minutiae of getting ready to walk out that front door. We are 95% there. Most of what is left to do are things that can only be done once we receive that golden ticket.

POX ALERT
There has been an outbreak of Chicken Pox in one of the Aqtobe orphanages! We think it is confined to the toddler house and that the children we will be meeting are in the baby house, but I’m not sure. We were told it won't delay our LOI, but it's up to us if we want to wait until the outbreak is over. Um....no freaking way, Jose!

I already had Chicken Pox (a mild case as a child and a bad case as a teen.) Frank thinks he only had a very mild case as a child, but he isn’t sure. To be safe he got an antibody test to check his immunity level. If need be, he will simply get a vaccine and should be fine. Of course, we will be bringing some extra meds for Habibi just in case he/she becomes ill after we get custody. He/she might be sick at our first meeting. What an interesting first sight that would be! We would have to do a re-write of the song, The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face. Let's see, what rhymes with "your blisters were just starting to crust over..."

WHY I CAN’T STOP HUMMING A CERTAIN DISCO SONG
I recently joined Charleston’s Freecycle Yahoo group, and within 3 days I had picked up a free, child’s outdoor roller coaster. A new one costs $100 bucks at Toys R Us. This one was in excellent condition, except for the plump black widow spider I found hiding under the step, alongside her large egg sac! We're not the bug killer types, but Ms. Widow and her brood quickly met their doom.

The stickers had peeled off the little car, so my nieces, Kirsten and Gabrielle, did a beautiful job drawing new designs on it with different colored permanent markers. On the front it says “Rolly Ruopoli Coaster.” I love it -- even with the extra L in Roly! It certainly serves as a tangible little metaphor for the adoption process, although not nearly a wild enough ride.

We have been trying to buy toys that are made of natural or organic materials such as wood and cotton, and are built to last (we felt this way even before the news was splattered with China product recalls.) We know our it’s very idealistic, but we can always try. But it has already been hard to resist the plethora of plastic junk from China because it’s cheap and convenient.

GOT BENEFITS?
Not long ago I had a meeting with the president and HR director of the company I work for, where I made a proposal requesting that they provide employer adoption benefits to employees, and of course me in particular! I essentially asked for benefits comparable to what biological moms are offered. I've been told that they have approved a new policy, and I should know the details this week!

Anyone out there who would like to encourage your employer to consider adoption benefits, there is a boatload of helpful information at http://www.adoptionfriendlyworkplace.com/ and http://www.davethomasfoundation.org/.

I must mention that both of our employers and colleagues have been incredibly supportive and caring throughout this process. Without their flexibility and willingness to accommodate our needs we could not be doing this. We extend our deepest appreciation to them! We promise to bring Habibi into the office soon after we are home, and thoroughly disrupt workflow and halt productivity like a good new parent should. Start practicing your ooohs and aaahhs!

REGISTRY
We have been asked a lot lately if we have a registry. We are registered at Babies R Us, and I added a link to our links section in the right column. We will try to update it from Kaz once we know more about our child. We're very excited that our family/friends are planning a shower when we return, as well as my co-workers. They wanted to wait until we have our child so they can be more targeted in their gift-giving.

TODDLER PONDERINGS
With the big possibility of adopting a toddler, we are preparing ourselves to spend a long time on focusing on attachment and bonding even more intensely than before. The first year home will be important in laying a super-solid foundation for our strong family connection, as well as helping our little one have healthy relationships in all areas of his/her life. It will take an elevated degree of mindfulness, but we are up to it.

I do wonder if we will sometimes wrongly attribute normal behavior to adoption-related issues. Maybe this goes away after the first year or two, or maybe not. But we will trust our intuition, as I think we are both reasonably perceptive and certainly devoted to getting it right. The educational courses and self-study we’ve been through in preparation have been invaluable. There are so many great resources out there.

It also has helped, and will continue to help, to have the insight of intelligent and sensitive parents who have been in our shoes. I’m not exaggerating when I say that the adoptive parent world is full of some of the kindest and most generous people on earth!

Speaking of which… I want to send out a special thank you to Jennifer M (Gigi’s mom) for sending me this great article on attachment. Here is an excerpt: "Do not believe in Insta-Attachment. It is a fairytale that ultimately prevents you from really seeking out the deepest part of your child's heart and searching for true healing instead of proper behaviors. It is worth the search. It may take much longer than you had hoped for. Your emails to family and friends may be lacking in the instant gratification. But the long, slow simmer of true attachment in the end is stronger, more deeply satisfying and more healing."

CAFE PRESS STORE
We set up a Cafe Press Store a while back to create some custom tees and such for our child. I thought I'd share it with other Kaz families in case they see something they like. Check it out: http://www.cafepress.com/kazadopt