Missing Milo

We are home, sweet home. We stumbled through our very own front door at 11:30 pm last night, and 30 minutes later we were sleeping like old farm dogs on a sunny porch.

Thanks to our fairy godmother (Frank’s sister, Rosie) we came home to a spotless house, home-cooked meals waiting in the fridge, fresh sheets on the bed, the coffee prepped for the morning brew, the garbage taken out and the mail brought in. We love you so much, Rosie!

We could not connect to any networks during our last days in Kaz due to the limitations of the Windows Vista based operating system on our computer. We tried everything; including a nearly 1-hour international troubleshooting call with my genius IT friend (thanks Adrian). We later heard that Vista has been a problem for other families in Kaz, and so have Mac computers. They are just not compatible with the limited Kaz systems. We will definitely take an XP-based computer on our next trip.

So we have lots to share, and we will spend the next few weeks catching up the blog with many more stories, photos and videos from our first trip. (I also need to catch up on other blogs. Who out there is leaving soon?)

It was excruciating to leave Milo in Aqtobe. We were miserable from the moment we woke up, knowing it was our last bonding day. It felt so unnatural to say goodbye and we both cried like babies. I can still feel his chubby little cheek against my lips during that last kiss. He was so loving when we took our leave…it was like he knew. Our only comfort is that his nannies really care for him, and he for them. He is safe for now.

Our trip home was grueling, but I can’t say enough good things about the Amsterdam airport or KLM/Northwest airlines. (More tips on that later for PAPs.) We also loved Almaty during our 20-hour layover there, and highly recommend the Tien Shan hotel.

Our last few days in Aqtobe were especially nuts, because the day after I wrote the “Computer Problems” blog post, we were…


Blindsided Again

Often times throughout the insanely tedious Kaz adoption process many prospective parents ask, “What more could they possibly want from us? Blood???” Well, as it turns out that’s exactly what they wanted.

As of last Wednesday, the adoption laws changed AGAIN in Aqtobe. Talk about bad timing. The head government officials happened to be in town during our stay, doing a review of all of the past adoption records. Apparently they were not happy with some of their findings, and created new laws and procedures, effective immediately.

These 3 new laws apply to all families adopting from Aqtobe:

1. Frank and I (and the French couple) were required to have blood tests performed in Aqtobe for HIV, Syphilis and one other disease that they didn’t know the translation for – we’re still not sure what it is, but we think it’s for Chlamydia. (They don’t have easy access to penicillin there, so Syphilis and Chlamydia are common and medically devastating. They don't understand that even if we had them, it's not a big deal.)

This is despite the fact that we tested negative for these and other blood diseases in the US, and have the medical reports notarized and apostilled by the state, in addition to submitting a notarized copy of other health reports and a notarized copy of our doctor’s medical license. These documents were already approved by the Consulate of Kazakhstan, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Ministry of Education. But it just doesn't matter anymore in Aqtobe. I can only guess that they suspect someone has falsified these documents in the past.

We were taken to 2 different public medical clinics for the blood tests, and that little story is a blog post all its own. At this time, Aqtobe is the only city requiring blood tests in-country, but if you are in process expect anything at any time in any region. And bring your own needles and syringes just to be safe.

2. We had to have a representative from the local Ministry of Education present with us for the remainder of our bonding visits with Milan. This only applies to the initial 2-week bonding period. (Not a big deal for families, but who has time to leave their job for 4 hours a day to observe a playroom full of bonding familes?)

3. Our court date will be scheduled for about 6 weeks after our bonding period ended, NOT 1 month as we were told after we got there, and way longer than the 8-10 days we expected when we left the US. We will find out our actual court date in about 2 weeks, but it's supposed to be in mid-July. This is the longest wait for any region now, and it was the cruelest, most brutal news to bear. And the return trip will actually take about 4 weeks total – roughly 3 weeks in Aqtobe and 1 week in Almaty. That is if we don't split it into 2 trips or contract an escort to bring him home after our court trip, but we can't even think straight about all that right now.

Yes, it’s crazy. It’s insane. Nothing makes sense. Nothing is logical. Nothing seems to benefit anyone…especially not the children. Asking why is useless. There is no good answer. Just cold bureaucracy, intense national pride, and distrust of prospective adoptive parents. There is undeniably a movement by the high government of Kazakhstan to strongly discourage, limit, or perhaps eventually eliminate international adoptions, and there is nothing anyone can do about it.

Supposedly no other changes are expected in Aqtobe before we complete our process, but we wonder what other curve balls might be thrown our way. How much more "blood" will they want? Will we really be able to bring our son home? We never in a million years expected to have challenges like this. I think we’ve aged several years in the past 2 weeks. Seriously, Frank found his first gray hair in his beard!

Precious Milan is the shining star in all of this madness. He is a sparkling diamond buried in a giant, jagged mountain of red tape. He gives us the strength to keep pushing, pulling, and getting up and dusting ourselves off again after being knocked down over and over by this bizarre, wearisome, ever-changing process. He is worth it, and we will not let him down.

We miss him so freaking much.