MTV Cribs - Aqtobe Edition

Our apartment in Kaz was not as bad as others I’ve heard of, but it was pretty small and needed a lot of TLC and cleaning. Our friends, the Kieffers, said that we absolutely had to stay in a dump to have the real Kaz adoption experience.

We did ask to stay at the same place for the next trip if it's available since we know its pros and cons -- the biggest pro being an air conditioner, which is like gold over there. Plus we know our neighborhood now, and we are located near plenty of shopping, restaurants, the wi-fi coffee shop and the 24-hour grocery store – all important conveniences.

Below is a peek into our nifty Kaz crib. But first a little story:

Late one night someone was painting the floor in the stairwell of our apartment building. The noxious fumes wafted into our apartment for hours. They were overwhelming. We opened all the windows and turned on our trusty air conditioner, but it didn’t help much. The scent was so strong I could actually taste it, and it was nothing like any paint I had ever smelled. We couldn’t really leave because it was late at night. Frank explored the hall and said it was completely filled with a thick fog from this "paint." We later learned that this is actually a type of insecticide treatment. Hello, lungs? Are you still there???

On to the tour...

This is the front of our building. Our apartment is towards the left. We were on the 3rd floor, so we didn't have to walk up too many flights with our groceries.

This is the back of our building. It's the only point of entry. To the right is a playground made of old painted tires and steel pipe equipment.

The entry door to our section of the building. It has a coded lock on it.

Our apartment door was a thick steel door with a deadbolt lock that used an old-school skeleton key. Opening this door felt like we’re entering a submarine. Immediately behind the steel door is a regular wooden front door. Notice the fashionable faux wood paint job!

Once inside, it wasn't so bad. This is the entry hall with nice, wood floors, a modern set of entry furniture and a light lavender paint job. Notice the smashed bug on the wall? It was there when we arrived, along with several more that we chose to ignore - for this trip at least! In the back you see the refrigerator and the door to the bathroom.

The living room had a nice desk, a good chair, a television, big window and pretty curtains. You can see the funky, but effective air conditioner in the upper right corner.

The matching couch and chairs in the living room were straight out of 1982. They were comfortable, if not a little musty.

Ahhh... the rich, textural experience of the living room wallpaper.

On to the kitchen, which had those nice floors and a cute little breakfast table with stools. The electric tea kettle rocked. It boiled water in about 45 seconds flat. How did I live my whole life without having one of these? We already bought one for our home!

Nice microwave oven with a winking chef for our cooking encouragement.

We were afraid to use the gas stove, but might give it a shot next time.

The fridge wouldn't fit in the kitchen, so its home was at the end of the hall. It was a noisy brat. The bathroom doors are to the right and the entry hall is to the left.

Milo's gonna love this. Nothing a little duct tape can't fix.

The bed was comfy by Kaz standards, although not quite as plush as our quilted king-sized mattress at home. The door to the porch is in the bedroom, to the left.

There were no closets -- only a large armoire. The doors were troublesome, so we just lived out of our suitcases. I can't look at this armoire without remembering the empty box that fell off the top of it. It apparently once contained some kind of mysterious Kazakh birth control device.

I just like this photo of Frank passed out one afternoon.

Ahhh...the glittery, glamorous experience of the bedroom wallpaper.

The tub/shower and the sink in the bathroom shared one faucet, which is pretty clever. You just push the spout to the left or right as needed, and you pull on a lever to switch the flow to the shower head. The tap water seemed fairly clear in Aqtobe -- at least this time of year -- but as advised, we didn't drink it. The hot water only went out once, which is good from what I hear. But we learned a new dance we like to call the Kaza Shuffle when the hot water would surge while we were showering. Ok, I have a confession to make...I Photoshopped the tub to make it not look so dirty, because it was, in fact, filthy when we got there and I'm embarrased to say that we couldn't even bear to clean it. But even with digital doctoring, it still looks bad! Next trip we are having a rubber glove party on our first day. (And no, I'm not talking about in the bedroom, you pervs!)

The hot water pipes came out of the wall into an “S” coil, which served as a towel warmer. It worked well, and this was perhaps my favorite feature. There was a washing machine in the bathroom that drained into the bathtub, but we didn't attempt to use it this trip. We just hand-washed in the sink and hung them to dry on the porch in true Kazakh style.




All I can say is pew! There are no stops between all the toilets in the apartment building, so this tiny room could pack quite a pungent punch. Luckily the solid door kept the scent from wafting anywhere else, and we only had to be in this room for one reason. Well, two if you want to get technical.

Our porch and clothesline. The windows opened up to let in the breeze. I sat out here one afternoon and observed an awesome thunderstorm.

Our view to the park outside. This is as green as it gets in Aqtobe.

For all you Quoizel people out there. Timeless designs?

We bought all of our drinking/cooking water in large 5-liter bottles from the supermarket. We went through about 1 bottle per day.

The good thing about Kazakh toilet paper is that it doubles as paper towels!

The best yogurt EVER. (Other brands weren't as good.)

GRAND FINALE VIDEO:

"The Bucket"

(This may take a minute to buffer, but it's worth it if you want a laugh.)

I cut this video off at the point when you hear me gagging.
Frank thinks I should keep it in to honor the artistic integrity,
but I think it's best to leave it to your imaginations!