Sunday, July 13, 2008

Court is Zaftra

We will nervously walk into the courtroom around 10 am tomorrow to bid our plea to become Milan’s legal parents. This is 1:00 am eastern standard time. If you are awake, please light a candle for us!

Frank has been working on his speech and I have been working on my supporting comments. I have also been drilling Frank with questions the judge may ask. (They always mainly address the male in a couple as this is a very old fashioned society in that regard.) When court is over, if there is a favorable decision, then we are required to go to the baby house and take another official family picture with Milo. We will try to post the judge’s decision asap. Neither the judge nor the prosecutor ever came to observe our bonding visits. Apparently the testimony of the social worker who was present in the bonding room for another family will suffice.

Milo’s grandmother (ba-boosh-ka) signed for his release. Our Aktobe coordinator seemed relieved to deliver this news. When we pressed her for more information, she smiled, sighed and said she didn’t want to talk about it. Holy cow. Not to state the obvious, but I think that it’s ludicrous that Kaz laws would not require the final sign off before parents even begin the bonding process. If babooshka had said no, then all of this would have been for nothing. If I had truly understood the process and that our timing / trip requirements would be so drastically different than expected, then we would never have chosen Kazakhstan. But thank goodness we didn’t know because this is where Milan is and I can’t imagine a more perfect child for us. Really and truly he is now at 110% and we are more in love with him every day. He is incredible and I know he will be worth it.

New Requirements

Speaking of timing changes, we are now being told that one parent must be present in Aqtobe two weeks after court (when the appeals period is over) in order to sign the paperwork for the birth and adoption certificates in person. We have been told that this requirement has always been “something on the lawbooks” but only some regions choose to enforce it. Aqtobe is the only region I know of, and we are the only family I know of.

This means that one of us cannot leave as planned. We have decided it will be me (Regina), and Frank will return to the US as anticipated. As far as after that, it seems senseless for me to return to the US and fly back to Kaz again because I will have full custody of Milo once these certificates are signed. I would be leaving just as I could take him from the baby house forever, and then turning around to come right back in only 2 weeks. So as of today, I am planning to stay the whole time.

I have my theory about why they are requiring this. On one hand, I think it’s BS. On the other hand I really didn’t know how I was going to bring myself to leave Milo again anyway -- especially after hearing what a difficult time he had the first time.

In addition, there has been an announcement that adopted children’s passport processing time is now taking longer. Shocker. They estimate an additional 2 to 5 days for this. So unless something else changes I am looking at coming home with Milo around August 15.

We got a little bit of scoop about court today because we were invited to Brigitte and Robby’s (the French couple’s) apartment for lunch! They shared a little about their court experience with us. They have a very nice place near the Mosque – even nicer than ours although a little smaller. They made a traditional French dish of rice, tomatoes and eggs with our choice of tuna or sausage. We had mixed fruit with cake for dessert. It was delicious and they were so hospitable. Another French woman named Claudine joined us, along with her mother. Claudine is here adopting a cute baby boy who has a milder case of strabismus. We had a nice time and it was so good to see them outside the baby house. They all have warm personalities and were lots of fun. They spoke English pretty well, especially Claudine, so language was not a barrier to enjoying ourselves. Unfortunately my French was way too rusty to be of much good.

Little Tim is doing great and has adjusted very well. He was a delight to watch and seeing him happily waddling around their apartment and sleeping in his crib stirred my excitement to have Milo here with me at our apartment. After all of this time together I still have not watched him sleep. It will be heavenly. That is, if the judge says yes and if the appeals period passes without incident.

Wish us luck!



14 comments:

Nell said...

For what it's worth, I'm not sure how religious you are, and my religion differs from the very nice woman who knocked on my door yesterday, to see if I'd be interested in attending her Baptist Church. I thanked her and said I was set, and she was about to leave and turned around and said "do you need a prayer said for anything?"

I took a deep breath and said in a city in Kaz, there was a little boy who was so close to joining a family, and he and his hopeful parents just needed to get through the court on Monday, with the judge deciding that his rightful place was with these two loving people.

She and I stood there clutching hands, saying our own prayers for you three, and she began crying with emotion and wished you guys the best.

So, you're covered on at least 2 religious fronts on this side of the Frog Pond. And odds are good that I'll actually be up at 1am, and there will be a candle in a window in Maryland for you.

You guys will represent your love beautifully -- good luck, bonne chance, удача!

Happy said...

I will be up and a candle will be lit for you and Milo, though I truly believe the judge would have to be a fool not to say yes to you. Still, a little universal push won't hurt, so I'll be doing my thing to help. Regina, I'm glad to hear you will be staying. I realize this may be totally inconvenient, but I could only imagine how heart rending it would have been to walk away again, and while Frank will still have to do this, your being there with Milo should soften the blow some for him. I think it will make all the difference for Milo to be with his Mom as much as is permitted, and then home with you. I'm so excited for you all, and send all my good wishes for the big event. Happy

Susan and Robert said...

wow, you guys are truely paving the way for the rest of us. I am really sorry all of this has fallen on you however I am sure there are more "law book" written rules that will be sprung on the rest of us also.

On a positive note, at least the decision to stay was an "easy" one. I am glad he doesn't have to go thru the readjustment period again. You spoke my words exactly when you said if you knew what you were going to have to go thru you would not have chosen Kaz b/c we are feeling the same way. I hope our story works out as perfect as yours!

Alysa said...

You guys will do great at court! Your love for Milo and his for you is written all over your faces in every picture!

And even more changes and longer timeframes for paperwork. Not surprising, but frustrating for sure. I'm glad you are able to stay. Your time in Kaz with Milo will be precious.

Sending good thoughts and wishes your way for tomorrow!

Jennifer said...

I'm so glad his bio grandmother signed the papers. What a relief. I will be praying for you guys that court goes well.

When I read the part about him having a real hard time after you left the last time, I wondered if you would choose to stay this time. I'm glad you have a nice apartment since you will be staying. That definitely helps. Oh yeah- and of course seeing your gorgeous Milo every day might have something to do with it! :-) Sorry to hear about all the delays though. Absolutely amazing!

On pins and needles waiting to hear the verdict. I will be checking as soon as I wake up.

Good luck!

Patrick & Eileen said...

Oh boy....more changes! I'm sure that you'll feel better, as well as Milo, to be together.

I can't wait to see sleeping photos of Milo :) They're the sweetest kind of pictures.

We will certainly be thinking of you and wish you the best with court!!

Eileen & Pat

Teresa said...

I have been out of town for a few days (& away from computer), so when I returned I was excited to see that you made it out of Memphis. I'm sure your court hearing will go just fine. Like everything else in this process, it will give you another story to share.
Milo looks so happy, but why shouldn't he be? Mom and Dad are back & soon he will officially be a Ruopoli!!!
I will check in again later, but in the meantime, I pray & trust that everything goes well for all three of you!!
ths

cindy said...

Regina - no candles lit overnight for fire safety :) but we are leaving a compact flourescent bulb burning for your family (a feeble but proud moment in our new go-green efforts). Sorry for all the continued rule changes; you really are the guinea pigs, huh? But I'm thrilled you'll have Milo in your arms and in your apt soon. Best of luck and much love, Cindy Matt and Astrid

Kelly and Sne said...

Well, it sounds like things are working out that way that they should be after all - certainly not how you planned but you found your boy and his Grandmother saw to it that he was able to go to a loving family. That's the most important part as you said. Besides, I think you'll be happy in the end to have the extra bonding time with him in country. We had so many firsts with Miras during our time in Kaz and were able to pump him full of love and vitamins during this time! And it has really helped to ease the transition as he is soothed by our presence. All the best of luck with court tomorrow!

Stephanie and Gary said...

Just got back from a vacation and some time away from my computer -- I was thinking of you!! God bless you all as you officially become a family tomorrow!!!!!!!! MUCH HAPPINESS!!
Steph, Gary, Emma and Eden

The Kieffers said...

It is 1:52 eastern time and I can invision you taking a new family picture. I am sure all went well in court. As for the longer stay, it is worth it. Love the new apartment. Let the dinner parties begin.

Love,
The Kieffer

Amy said...

I am sure you know the verdict and are all rejoicing at this very moment. Good thoughts are coming your way from us!

Love,
The Bains

Sandi said...

Well by now you have completed court, so as many we all sit on pins and needles I hope your out celebrating.

More changes, its the name of the game these days. I am glad that you are able to stay with Milo I am sure that is going to help with bonding and give the two of you time to adjust. Regina your a strong woman and this too shall pass.

Waiting on your court outcome with bated breath.

Sandi

Karla said...

Somehow I can't even imagine your life before Milo. Come home soon. We miss you. This will all be over before you know it. I'm in shock and awe over the continuing changes, and yet tickled with anticipation for all the hugs I'll be giving and the smiles coming our way from Milo - he's going to adjust so wonderfully - don't you worry about anything. Hugs and Kises!