Horns to Halos

Yesterday my hot water went out for a few hours, which often happens in Kaz. When it came back on I thought for a minute that the faucet was spewing cappuccino! The brown water stories in Kaz are well-known, but this is the worst I’ve personally seen it. I let it run for a few minutes and it became clear again quickly, but yuck! I’ve seen more appetizing water in the swamps of Carolina. It has a very metallic, coppery smell when it gets like this.

I’ve been enjoying Alysa’s company and helping her get settled in. She is even more awesome than I thought she would be! She is in her own apartment now, which is the same one Frank and I were in last time. They cleaned it up a little more and it really isn't bad. Plus the air conditioner rocks. She and I basked in the ice cold air yesterday between baby house visits. It was weird and neat being back inside our old place. It made me miss Frank even more because I was remembering our first trip and everything we went through together in that little place.

The temperatures here have been scorching, and with no breeze. The breeze really helps in the evening because it mostly blows through my bedroom window and cools down the whole apartment. Without any air circulation the heat that builds up during the day just lingers all night. It’s a good thing that Alysa is in her own place now or else she would have to bear witness to me walking around with barely a stitch of clothing on!

Milo's behavior has been much better the last two days. The halo was even back a couple of times! He’s still impish, energetic and lots of fun, but he’s not at full tilt like he was on Wednesday. He is minding me better, and he snuggled with me in my lap for a long time yesterday. Our biggest struggle right now is that he still thinks it’s funny to pretend he is going to bite people. Today he even made a hilarious roaring sound while he was doing it, which I of course recognized as a mimic of my own. Aie yie yie! It's funny, but I really need to backpedal this behavior. Right now I'm just being consistent with scolding him for it by manually closing his mouth and getting down on his level to firmly tell him "No, no, no...Don't do that!" I'll give it another day or two and then try something else if it keeps up.

We’ve had some teary moments when he wanted things that he couldn’t have, but I can tell he’s starting to understand that it’s not up to him, it’s up to mommy. I think he also now knows that I’m not just his playmate. When he cries I do hold him and comfort him through it, which he lets me do. I empathize with him, but I never give in. ;-) Man, is he pitifully cute when he cries.

My neck and back feel a little jarred from the “big save.” I worry a little about taking spills like that because I broke two of my vertebrae when I was 18 years old, and since then I have dealt with frequent muscle spasms surrounding the injured area. I’m sure I’ll be fine, and I’m also sure it won’t be the last time I sacrifice my own body for his!

He has recently learned the fun of being the chaser instead of the chasee. I’ve started making the big stuffed tiger “run” around the room. He loves to wildly pursue it and try to catch his tail. It is hilarious! He is such a fearless daredevil and still a little clumsy, so he often falls down, stubs his toe, bumps his head, etc. I’m sure it’s largely because of his eyes. (Try running around the room or navigating tight squeezes with your eyes crossed and you’ll see what I mean.)

I really can’t wait until we can have our freedom away from the orphanage and he can play on an actual playground or in a ball pit or a jump castle. There is a nice little playground here at the apartment and some great ones at the Mosque Mall, where he can get all that 2-year old, happy boy energy out. He’s getting bored in that hot playroom. So am I.

That reminds me, one day when Frank, Milo and I were walking around the orphanage with Aina, one of the caregivers from another group that was playing outside called Aina over to her. I could tell the caregiver was saying something about us. Turns out she was trying to tattle on us. She thought we took Milo from the babyhouse grounds the day before. We would never! But I know exactly why she thought such a thing. We sometimes take a blanket outside with us on our walks and find a shady spot to relax for a while. I’ll bet that she saw us start our walk, then didn’t see us for 20 minutes, and then saw us finish our walk. She probably thought the missing 20 minutes were when we took him off campus. I explained it all to Aina, and reminded her that Saniya was with us that day to vouch for us. Aina said not to worry about it, but it really bothers me that the woman thought we would disregard their rules.

Milo loves our walks, and he has begun to bring my shoes to me as a sign that he wants to go. (I always take them off when I enter in the playroom, as is customary.) He loves being outside and feeling the wind on his face. He gets a big smile, squints his eyes and makes a swooshing sound while pointing to the air. During our walk today he took great pleasure in trying to run. He held on tightly to my finger and turned on the heat with his little legs, chuckling all the way. Then he stopped and stomped in place before setting off again. It was heartwarming to see him delight in the abilities of his quickly strengthening body.

I could swear he has put on 5 pounds since I got here. He loves to eat almost everything, including the bananas, yogurt and fruit juice I bring for him. He especially loves the kefir (thick yogurty milk, like buttermilk) the caregivers bring us to give him during snack time. He hardly takes a breath and always gets a thick milk mustache. The only thing I’ve seen him refuse so far is a hard boiled egg. A caregiver brought one to him as his snack the other day. I thought it was an odd choice, but as they say, When in Rome… I proceeded to tear it apart with my fingers and feed it to him. We ended up with a big crumbly mess on the table and a big, yolky, drooling mess running down his chin and chest.

The way they feed him often makes me nervous about choking. Once he came toddling into the playroom biting into half of an apple that they gave to him. We could hardly stand to watch him eat it for fear of him choking, and when he finally got down to the last chunk we threw it away because he tried to stuff the whole thing in his mouth. The big hunks of bread he is given with his lunch worry me. He bites off big pieces and only slightly chews them before swallowing them practically whole. We saw little Tim seriously choke on his bread one day. It gave us all quite a scare. I’ve started tearing Milo’s bread up and putting it in his soup, but the poor little guy gets ruffled if he doesn’t have at least a small piece in his hand while he’s eating. It’s a habit – and the first one I will have to break when I get custody of him – in a mere 5 days!

Yes, we’re still on for July 30 as our Gotcha Day, around 12 noon. This is when I will really be able to breathe easier because Milo is not legally ours until this 15-day waiting period is over. During this time the birthmother or another family member could appeal our adoption. That’s the crazy reality because Kazakh adoption laws protect the birth family right up until the last minute. In most countries that allow international adoption the birthmother cannot take the child back, but here she can up until the new birth certificate has been issued. This happens only very rarely, but you can see why it will be such a significant and momentous day when Milo and I can walk out the doors of Ymit Baby House for the last time. Bittersweet, yes, but mostly sweet. :-)

I'm all packed. Let's go!

P.S. We love you Jane, Fred and Olivia.