Not Alone

Frank wrote me that he made it to Amsterdam, but he’s not feeling well. I hope he makes it home ok. It’s hard to fly while you're sick. Poor thing.

I forgot to mention that Milo fell asleep in Frank's arms on their last day together. Frank was slowly carrying him around the room in circles and Milo finally put his head on Papa’s shoulder. When he started sucking his thumb I knew he was a goner. He was out like a light. He didn’t even wake up when the caregiver came to get him. It was the first time he has slept in our presence. It was beautiful, and yes there was a radiant halo that suddenly appeared above his head! I didn’t get a photo because I couldn’t take my eyes off of him long enough to retrieve the camera.


Turn Turn Turn

I was so excited to receive an e-mail today from a woman I know through the blog world. Her name is Alysa and she will be joining me in Aktobe on Monday to adopt her child! We have been communicating via the blog world for many months, so it will be good to finally meet her. She is bringing me an external microphone for our computer. I thought it had one built-in, but it doesn’t. Now I can call Frank at home with Skype at no charge. (Thank you Alysa!)

I met a couple today from Texas, Aaron and Kara. They have actually been in Aktobe for 2 weeks, but their daughter was put in the hospital one day before they got here because of a reaction to a vaccination. They have been visiting her every day in the hospital and so I had not seen them until today when they were all in the playroom for the first time. Their daughter, Sophia, is doing fine now. They are leaving tomorrow to return home until their court date. By the time they return I will have left. It’s too bad we weren’t able to spend time together. They’re cool people and we seem to have a lot of things in common. Plus it has been pleasant to communicate in English with perfect understanding!


All of my French friends are leaving too. Claudine and her mother leave tomorrow. She feels sad to leave her son, Ilya, but I assured her the time will pass quickly. Brigitte and Robert leave for Almaty on Monday. They are all delightful and I will miss them very much. Claudine lives in Paris, and Brigitte and Robert live on the West Coast of France. Perhaps one day we will go to their wonderful country and visit with our “Kaz Cousins.” I certainly hope so. Au revoir mon amies!


We had a farewell dinner this evening with Claudine, her mother, the couple from Texas and our interpreters. We went to the same traditional Kazakh restaurant that Frank and I went to in May. We had such a nice time that nobody thought to take a photo. We ate a mix of different salads and then the main course was the traditional Kazakh dish called Beshbarmak (BESH-bah-mock). Here is a photo I took of it when Frank and I ate there before. It tastes much like a pot roast, with potatoes, onions, big, wide noodles and beef, or horse if you want the real thing. I highly recommend it. If you don’t eat meat, it's easy enough to eat around, but I believe the rest of the dish is cooked in the meat broth. It is very tasty and I’m more excited than I should be to have some leftovers in the fridge for tomorrow. They don’t really do the “doggie bag” thing here. I think they thought we were uncouth for taking it home, but we didn’t care! There was so much left, and cooking in this heat isn’t so pleasurable.


Black and Brown

Frank and I returned to Black and Brown the other day (the coffee shop with high speed wi-fi Internet). We were greeted with gasps, big smiles and hugs. As they requested, we brought them more copies of our band’s CD, as well as a framed band photo, which we signed for them: “To Black and Brown…America loves you!” They promptly hung it on their wall, next to other local band’s photos. It looked a little small, but we just couldn't haul a large one with us.


Their Internet was down, so we just had coffee and dessert, uploaded some new photos and video to the computer, and showed the B&B staff some of the photos of Milo. They were genuinely going ga-ga over him, and they excitedly showed us photos of their children. When we left, just as the door closed behind us we heard some sort of vocal exclamations – kind of like squealing. We didn’t know whether they were that thrilled to see us, or they saw a mouse. I’d like to believe they think we’re some kind of rock stars, but they probably just have a crush on Frank. ;-) This photo was from our first trip, and there are a couple of women missing in it.

It was so nice to be in the air conditioning for a few hours. Ahhh….sweet relief! We had eaten lunch just before at the café that we like in the Business Center. It’s called Alehause. It was air-conditioned too and I actually felt chilly by the time we left there.


Teens and Tweens

We’ve spent a couple of very interesting evenings out on the playground for this apartment building. After dinner it bustles with life. They have swings, slides, a teeter-totter, monkey bars, a sandbox, a ping-pong table, chessboard, etc. for the children. There is a core group of about 8 teens and pre-teens that hang out down there. Many of them speak English and they were shy around us at first, but once they realized we were friendly they swarmed us and were full of questions.

Teenagers are so honest. They taught Frank how to shake hands properly in Kaz (using both hands), about how everyone here includes police bribes in their monthly budgets, and about how the local teenagers fought over their territories a few years ago, and a few boys died in the fights. One boy was actually nailed to a board. As in crucified. (Gulp.) This boy said it is very peaceful here now. Now the teens only fight with words, and not that often.

One Russian 16 year-old girl who speaks English well is very curious about why we would adopt a baby from here. It’s such a mystery to them. She and her friends are on the #1 dance team in all of Aktobe.

One sweet, shy boy asked us what our dreams are. Then he shared with us that his dream is to be a pop superstar. He plays piano and guitar, and he sings. He said his sister lived in America and met her husband on the Internet. She was a mail-order bride, but is very happy.

One Russian boy was being shadowed by his mother, and she would ask us questions through him. Then she asked me how well her son spoke English. I could tell the gist of what he said to her: “No mama, stop asking questions. Go inside! You’re embarrassing me!”

One boy studied English in London and spoke it with an British accent. He’s a little firecracker and doesn’t seem as interested in the novelty of Americans. But he teased us about how badly we were playing ping-pong, and showed us how to serve properly.

When they found out that I am a singer, they wanted me to sing for them on the spot. I politely declined, but we gave them a few copies of our band’s CD to listen to. They said they liked Frank Sinatra, so we told them it sounded a little like that. Most everyone’s musical taste here leans toward R&B, Rap and Sugary Pop, like the Back Street Boys and nightclub music. They love 50 Cent and Tupac Shakur, but have plenty of artists of their own in this area.

They think everyone in America is filthy rich. We set them straight on that one. They asked about politics. We just said that we didn’t vote for George Bush and we can’t wait until he is out of office. They think Obama is a peculiar candidate…they mentioned that he is black. In fact, they used the “N word.” We almost choked on our Fanta! We rewound the conversation and made it very clear how insulting that word is -- especially if you use it and you are not black. They thought it was ok because they heard it on MTV, in movies and in popular shows like Pimp My Ride. When we asked if there were any black people in Aktobe, they said yes, but he moved away last year. He! It’s strange to have such a mix of ethnicities here, but no blacks. I hear they are more prevalent in Almaty. They said that Kazakhs usually date Kazakhs, and Russians usually date Russians, and it is not uncommon for a Russian boy to date a Kazakh girl. But it is uncommon for a Kazakh boy to date a Russian girl. Or maybe I got that backwards.

We shared with them our photo album of our hometown, our family and friends. They pored over the photos with a fine-toothed comb. They asked us how many cars we had. When we said two, they were very impressed, even though I emphasized that mine is 9 years old. We tried to answer their questions with honesty, but always putting things in perspective and certainly without boasting or giving too much information.


People

I’ve also had he pleasure of meeting Aina’s family, as well as her best girlfriend and her family, who all live in this complex. Aina is married to an attorney. They have a 3-year old boy, Jiantik, and a 1-year old girl, Malinka. Her daughter was fascinated by my painted toenails. In Kazakh tradition, they live with her husband’s parents. I don’t know many Americans who could successfully live with either set of in-laws in a two-bedroom apartment, but it is the norm here and it works out well. I envy it in some ways.

I look forward to Milo playing with the children in the playground once he is here. Most of the people in this building have been welcoming, and their children now have a smile whenever I say hello to them. I like getting to know the locals. When your life is greatly affected by the negative side of a culture, sometimes you can forget that most of the people here are just like us. Not everyone is a bureaucrat, vulture or Vogon. Most people are usually just people – everywhere you go.