Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Court Date

Woo-hoo! We have a court date! It's Monday, July 14th. That's exactly when Gulnara predicted.

We must arrive a couple of days early so the judge and prosecutor can observe our bonding with Milan before court (another new requirement.) Since it takes almost 2 full days to get there we will leave on July 9th – 2 days after my 40th birthday and 6 days after Frank’s 40th birthday. That’s what I call a celebration!

Sorry I’ve been out of commission for a while. Not only have we been busy since our return, but I also think that I was just too emotionally drained to write. Writing and reading blogs only made me ache more. The first trip took a lot out of us and it was incredibly hard to leave our love bug behind. I needed a little hiatus to recharge and regroup.

I’ve decided to stay in Kaz for the whole time. Frank will need to come home for work after about 2½ weeks, but I will stay until mid-August. Milan and I should be home at least a week before his birthday, which is on August 23rd. (Which reminds me, we have a winner in our birth date guessing contest – Stacy Segebarth!!! She was only 9 days off, having guessed August 14th. Stacy, I’ll be in touch for your address so I can send you your Vintage Velvet CD!)


I want to share some additional TIPS AND ADVICE for future AP’s, especially since there are so many who will be traveling soon:

Key Items:

International Cell Phone: We got ours from http://www.onesimcard.com/ We chose the International Mobile Phone Solution. We paid about $120 for ours (which includes the SIM card), plus the airtime. You can buy a refurbished phone for a little less, or rent one. I recommend you purchase $40-$50 of airtime to start, and you can easily add minutes from overseas. Overall we used about $200 of airtime, but we used the phone more than we thought – especially since there was so much craziness going on with our process and we couldn’t access the net from our apartment. It was a lifesaver for us.

Blue Pen: Take it with you everywhere you go. Nobody ever has a pen on them in Aqtobe -- not even in the grocery store checkout. It’s weird! Blue is required for some court documents. We took one of those retro Bic 4-color option pens and used it all the time. Also, take your passport with you everywhere you go. They don’t usually mention that you will need it for your various appointments (notary, airline, clinic) but when you get there they ask you for it.

Magellan Eurosurge Power Converter: The other brand didn’t work with higher voltage items.
Sonic Impact Video 55 iPod Docking Station/Speaker/Video Player (if you have a iPod)
A Small Funnel: For transferring water from the large bottles to smaller ones
Portable Comfort Foods: Instant coffee (General Foods International - Vanilla is the best), instant oatmeal, granola, green tea, peanut butter, etc.
Sheets: Fitted and flat
Shorts: To the knee for females is ok in public in Aqtobe, but Frank only wore his in the baby house.
Baby Clothes/Shoes: In a variety of sizes. It's slim pickins in Kaz .
Bibs: Fabric drool bibs and plastic meal bibs with the pocket at the bottom
Washcloths & Droolcloths
Stacking Cups
Teething Ring
Board Books: Touch and feel
Cheerios
Teething Cookies
A Small Tote Bag and Several Plastic Bags (from the grocery store)

Two great, makeshift toys we created were two water bottles – one filled 1/3 with water and the other filled with a handful of uncooked rice. Milan loved to shake them up! He also loved the plastic truck we bought in Kaz; It held a bunch of little blocks in its bed.

Milan was not as into the balloons, bubbles or stuffed animals as we thought he’d be. We did leave him with a little stuffed cheetah that we slept with for about 2 months prior. International adoption doctors recommend this because it will smell like us (and home), and scent is a powerful, core memory trigger and many primal responses are linked to it. This is one small thing that we can do to potentially increase his familiarity and comfort level with us. We hope this became his “lovie" (like a Linus blanket) and it brought some comfort to him. He did seem to like it the best out of all the animals. We will also try to use the same soaps, shampoos, scents we used on the first trip so we are more familiar.

I recommend to future AP’s that you learn some Kazakh in addition to Russian because the caregivers usually speak it to the Kazakh children. Also, the locals seem to prefer it. It’s hard to find educational materials, but there is a good list of key phrases in the LMI Yahoo Group files. The only Kazakh we know right now is Sah-Lem (Hello), Boll-mite (Don’t do that), and Molla-dit (Good boy), but we are trying to learn more. Milan's receptive language skills are very good and he understands quite a bit of Kazakh, even though he doesn't really speak yet.


Some Things We’ll Do Differently on the Second Trip

Consolidate our technology: Last time we brought a video camcorder with mini DVs, a large, Nikon SLR camera and our small Canon PowerShot. This time we’re only bringing the small Canon, which also takes video clips, and we just bought The Flip for additional video. We just didn’t use the Nikon camera very much last time because it’s large and bulky, although it takes better photos. We’re also bringing a different computer, with XP instead of Vista. We will still take our iPod and docking station.

Rolling Backpack: The versatility of being able to roll or carry it will be important during the return flights with Milan.

Columbia Clothing: Nice pieces made for hiking/fishing, etc. so they are ultra lightweight, breathable and dry quickly. Frank found some pants that zip off into shorts. Perfect, since grown men rarely wear shorts in Aqtobe because of Muslim values. (We were once moved into a private room in a restaurant because Frank was wearing shorts!) He can zip them off when we’re in the hot baby house and then zip the legs back on for city outings.

Speaking of hot baby houses, Aqtobe is more reasonable than some others I’ve heard of. Yes, it’s warm, but at least they allow us to open the windows, which is taboo in many other cities. Plus when it’s hot they let the children wear cool clothing instead of several layers. The layering is done because in Kaz they believe that colds and other illnesses come from the wind/cold temperatures. They think that the children must always stay extremely warm (even sweating) to avoid getting sick. In some cities the babies sweat their way through life, without so much as a breeze on them. I’m glad they’re not so fanatical in Aqtobe.

I am still tweaking our packing list, but if anyone would like a copy please let me know. It’s pretty comprehensive and we almost didn’t miss a thing. A big thanks to Jen and Marshall for sending me their great list many months ago to help us create ours!

Here are more photos and videos of our adorable little goofball. (The real reason you’re here!) I like the Chase Me video almost as much as the Under the Table video from a couple weeks ago. I’ve only watched these about a hundred times. Are we there yet???


Notice the drool?






"Honey, bring me the scissors!"


VIDEOS:



Chase Me




Get Down





Tippy Toes

18 comments:

Patrick & Eileen said...

Regina & Frank....a lot of great tips! Thanks so much for sharing. This was especially helpful since we're supposed to leave soon.

Ah, the pictures and videos of Milo...super cute!! Yep, noticed the drool :)

Congrats on your upcoming 40th birthdays!! There is a lot to celebrate - your upcoming court date too!!

Thinking of you,
Eileen

Susan said...

awww Regina---he is just so precious. He is so happy with you guys. I LOVE it!
i can see how blogging would be emotionally taxing.

I would adore a copy of your packing list cuz i am a bit frazzled. I totally see your "Vertigo" post now. Even with time, i'm freaked out beyond belief. It's very odd, I didn't expect to feel quite like this.

what a wonderful 40th birthday present.
I am glad you are staying. that sounds like a good decision.
We are most defintely doing at least 2 trips as our court date will be at least 30 days out, still not sure about the 3rd trip. It may be me staying solo though.

I love the pictures and the video.
So heartwarming and real and precious.
:)

LOVE the tips too.
It's so funny how differnet kiddo's love differnet kinds of toys. I guess I bring it all and see what Baby Kaz likes, since we also don't know age or gender. Scary stuff!

Love to you!!

Angela said...

Yippeee for the court date! Great news! I am sure you miss the heck out of him. Great photos! He is such a cutie. You will be back before you know it!

Thanks for all of the great information on strategies/items to bring. I just bought Scott some tropical weight pants from L.L. Bean. They don't have zip-off legs, but they are lighter and will dry quickly. I also want to check out that video camera . . .

I hope this month flies by for you!

Our Family of Bloggers said...

So excited for you three that you have a court date! Hooray!!!
July 9th will be here before you know it. And you thought "Thirtypalooza" was wild!
Counting down the days to see more pics of that adorable little boy of your's.
And I love the videos and pics- too cute!

Angela said...

A big congratulations! I know you are dying to get back to him. Rest up because your lives are about to forever change! Can't wait to follow you back to Kaz.

Anonymous said...

YEAH BABY! A Court date! Bring it on!!

Wow thanks for all the great tips! I've been working on our packing list for months. Looking for all the help I can get!

Congrats on your 40th's!!! I'm just ahead of you (44) and I can tell you life does get better after 40!

That adorable boy of yours! He is just precious!

Alysa said...

Adorable videos!

I'm so happy to hear you have your court date already and it is when you expected! Faster than I was told. Yippee! Great 40th birthday present for you both.

I wondered if we could stay after court, or if they would require 3 trips. Happy to see 2 trips are possible. That is my plan, as of today anyway.

Great tips too. Since I already invested in a video camera, I'll be bringing it even though a bit bulkier than The Flip.

Please, please, please send me a copy of your packing list! Not that I can squeeze another thing into my suitcase....

Matthew Ruley said...

These are great! What a cutie - what a great bonding room! With Andrey we had a 10'x10' room and with Alyona we a 7x12'room. Not much space.

We LOVED our flip video - it was small and easy and cheap. Don't leave home without it.

Kaz Blog Reader said...

Congrats on the court date. I love the picture of you and Milan in the window. Such a beautiful mother and child picture.

Happy said...

Hooray--a return date. Being a Virgo, I simply must nail everything down, and once I know, I'm content. It's something to look forward to. I'm just so over the top thrilled for you two, and just a little sad that I probably won't get to greet Milo when I'm there for K's big date in August. But there will be a return trip, i'm sure, and I look forward to greeting your son on American soil in person. Meanwhile, please know how welcome he is and how precious. Susan (KR's mom)

Nell said...

Happy baby to you! Happy baby to you! Happy baaaaaby, Frank & Reginaaaaaa
Happy baby to you!

Bastille Day - what a wonderful day for a new baby! The French will be lighting up the sky for you!

Just remember to breathe over the next couple weeks!

Dana said...

I am so glad to see an update but I can understand why blogging can make it hard when you're away from Love Bug. Love the video and I'm looking forward to your trip back. I can't wait to see more pictures of your sweet boy.

Kaz Blog Reader said...

Yay! So glad that you have a court date - yay! We were glad that we decided to stay after court and avoid the third trip. Luckily Aaron was able to stay as well, but there was no way I was leaving our son for a second time. Have custody for a period of time in country helps tremendously with bonding, especially since it will have been awhile since bonding.

Love the pictures :)

I'll forward you the link to a program that has Kazakh words that is easy to use (and free).
-Julie

Chris & Christy said...

Yeahooo July 14th it is! That is great news! I just can't believe all of the recent changes in Aqtobe. I just hope and pray that this doesn't make other families shy away from this region because it has so many amazing bonuses! I mean hello, look at our babies for goodness sakes! :)

Seeing Bayana makes me miss Aqtobe SO much!

Congratulations!
Christy

Kaz Blog Reader said...

GREAT pics! He is sooo cute!
I have used this new site for Kazakh that we found after returning. Nick could care less when I use Kazakh but I like learning it. It is www.byki.com. You just have to search for Kazakh. It has sound too so you can hear it pronunced which is great! We also took some downloaded printed material from Kazakhadoptivefamilies.com. We used that tons in country! Our workers loved it when we used Kazakh with them. I think they feel that it takes extra effort to learn it and they seemed to really appreciate it! Loved the update! karen

Jennifer said...

Oops, I read these in reverse order. Good thing I didn't email earlier! :-)

I'm glad to see you're back from the haitus and doing well, and I love all the pics of Milo. What a sweet little hand!

I'm so glad you have dates. That's better than just waiting with no end in sight. And (going to the post above), in the grand scheme of things, it's not that far out. It is when we I want it to happen tomorrow of course, but I hope and pray the next couple of weeks fly by.

cindy said...

Congratulations on your court date and second trip!!! Did you ever in a million years think you would be dancing to Brick House in a baby house in Kaz? Oh the adventures and love life brings :) Cindy, Matt and AStrid

Susan and Robert said...

Yeah for a court date! That isn't too far away! You'll be on a plane again before you know it.

Great tips! I would love to see your packing list if you don't mind sending it. I am totally lost at this point :>!