The Eyes Have It

This experience has required us to reflect upon racism more than ever, because our child will most likely have Asian or Eurasian features. (The ethnic background of most of the children available for adoption is Asian-Kazakh; however, occasionally Russian, German, Korean, Tatar and Gypsy children are available. Most children are born of mixed races and there are more than 80 different nationalities in Kazakhstan. It is truly a tapestry of people!)

I'm anticipating that our new parental roles will require us to be better advocates of racial tolerance and equality. Part of our required education is about how to best handle racial insensitivity, and how to teach our child to do the same. I just keep thinking that they are preparing us to deal with something that shouldn’t even exist.

Frank and I look Caucasian enough to not personally have to deal with racism every day of our lives. I'd certainly like to think that we are plenty smart, loving and strong enough to prevent racism, discrimination and bigotry from happening to our child. I also like to think that our child will avoid it simply because he/she will be so amazing and lovable. I even hold out hope that our society is progressing quickly enough for race to be a non-issue. But realistically, it will most certainly happen.

It may be just a stare; it may be a classmate who asks where his/her chopsticks are at lunch; it could be a teacher who makes assumptions about his/her math and science skills; it might be a parent who doesn't want his child to date ours; it could be job discrimination; it may be the spilling of poisonous, hateful words or even violence. Asians face a different type of prejudice than other minority groups in America, but it’s all just as bewildering and disheartening. I can't help but wonder what if we adopt a second child someday who is Hispanic? Middle-Eastern? Black?

“Are you black? I don’t see color. I will assume you’re black because you are telling me you are black. I don't see race; people tell me I'm white and I believe them, because I belong to an all-white country club.”
- Comedian Stephen Colbert to guest Eleanor Holmes Norton

Unlike what my buddy Stephen Colbert jokingly says, I do see race. But what I see is the beautiful diversity of each person’s physical being, and the richness of so many vibrant cultures and customs. It’s like we are all different flowers…none more beautiful than the other. Why do some people need to feel that there is one supreme flower? Why can’t we just live happily nestled all together within our glorious bouquet, appreciating each other’s beauty and realizing how magnificent we are as a whole?

I must say that I truly cannot wait for the moment when I behold the exotic beauty of our child’s face. I can't wait to tenderly kiss those almond eyes, brush that shiny dark hair, and hold against my cheek that soft, sweet skin of a warmer hue. I so look forward to loving and nurturing our lovely little blossom into full bloom, and helping him or her find just the right spot in the world's bouquet.