Monday, August 11, 2008

In the Groove

First things first:

We are coming home on Tuesday, August 19!!!

Yabba dabba doo! I think we will land in Charleston around 10:45 pm, but I need to confirm our tickets.

All’s well in Almaty. We had a very trying first two days, but we have gotten into a comfortable groove during the last two. Milo is doing better and better. Thank you all for your supportive comments and e-mails. It really helps me push through the tougher times! Of course, we had some initial adjusting and new boundary setting in the new apartment. This was expected and we got through the hardest part, although still have our moments on occasion.

Our first evening we went to the grocery store and I misjudged how many groceries I could hand-carry 4 blocks home with a 2-year old in tow, who decided he didn’t want to walk. Not a good experience! At one point I seriously considered ditching the groceries and just getting my stubborn little mule home. We eventually made the 10-minute walk in about 40 minutes – groceries and all – but I felt a little broken. But it was totally my own fault and misjudgement. Lesson #346 learned!

We definitely miss our friends in Aqtobe…



…but Almaty rocks! Plus, it’s a nice change of pace. It’s very modern and nestled beneath the most dazzling mountain range I’ve ever seen. The Almaty LMI team is excellent and very fluent in English. Our apartment here is great, located in the charming, artsy and convenient central district. It has an air conditioner and a washing machine too. We are the first LMI family to stay in this apartment, and I recommend it to other families if you can request it.

The LMI team brought me a stroller that was bought and left here by another family. It has been so helpful, and Milo likes being in it! It’s one of those cheap ones from the market, so the wheels only go straight. If you want to turn you have to lift the back wheels by the handle and scoot it to the left or right. And it comes apart if you try to tilt it too much to turn or jump a curb. But I am not complaining! It has made life easier for sure and I am thankful to not have to buy one (outrageously expensive here) or haul one through the airport.

Milo is doing much better and quite the sweet little character. Now when he gives me a kiss (which is sometimes unprompted) he often takes my face in his little hands. He is such a mimic. It cracks me up that every time we get ready to go out the door and I grab his diaper bag, he grabs another bag we have lying around and slings it over his shoulder too while heading for the door. I have to be careful of everything I do in front of him (e.g. gargling or vigorously stirring his food) because moments later I see him trying to do the same thing.

I feel more connected to him every hour, and our ability to communicate is improving exponentially. Sometimes when our eyes meet he smiles the sweetest smile and we have a moment when the world disappears. He is so cute I can’t stand it. He has so much personality and I love watching it emerge. But he is getting jealous of my time spent doing anything else but being focused on him. If I so much as look at my calendar, wash a dish or clean out my purse while he is awake, he goes into attention-getting mode. And that's not usually a positive behavior! ;-) I told Frank the other day that after this experience, dual-parenting in our own home should seem like a breeze!

We both have been fighting colds, and Milo has developed a persistent cough. We had his SOS clinic appointment today. This is a medical exam that he must pass in order to enter the United States. All went well, but he cried through all of the exam even though there were no painful procedures– just the usual temperature taking, listening to the heart, looking in the ears, nose and throat, and weighing in. He actually weighs 23.1 pounds. The doctor didn’t give us anything for his cold, but just recommended lots of warm fluids.

Despite being sick too, I feel physically stronger these days. My body is adjusting to all the added physical demands of late, and carrying Milo and a heavyass stroller up several flights of stairs hardly fazes me anymore! The Milo Workout Plan has netted me a weight loss of about 10 pounds so far. Some of my looser-fitting shorts are so big now that I have to pin them to stay on. I've been trying to find some clothes here, but it's tough.

Monday night we went to the Russian Circus with the Pike family and Marina, our coordinator. It was fabulous – at least what I saw of it. Milo just couldn’t sit still for longer than 15 minutes at a time. He started whining and getting agitated, so we spent 2/3 of the time walking around and pushing around chairs in the lobby. That was actually interesting too because we were in a staging area where we could see the upcoming acts, including a black bear and some cute show dogs waiting to go on.

Our seats were at the very top of the arena, so I think the long distance may have hindered his connection to the show – plus I don’t know how his vision is at that distance. Not being able to see clearly could have played a big part in his impatience.

During intermission they had a jump castle in the lobby, which he quickly took a liking to! It was open on top, so I could stand on the side and hold his hands. He was nervous at first, but followed the other kids’ cues and was soon jumping in place, and then ventured a few feet away from me to let it all hang out. He had absolute bliss written all over his face!

Yesterday, Kate, our translator, took the Pike family and us to the MegaMall. We did some limited shopping because the stores are crazy expensive. For instance my small shake from the ice cream shop cost about $9.00!

We also went to a kid’s play area that had tons of rides and games. We were just dropping off Winston Pike and his 3-year old bio daughter. His wife, Teresa, and I were just going to stroll around some more with our 2-year olds. We weren’t going to take our adoptees in because it was way too over-stimulating for a formerly institutionalized child (think Chuck E Cheese's on crack), but when we quickly took a peek inside Milo acted like he wanted to get on some of the rides. So I tried it out, and although he liked them at first, he later became tense and wanted to leave. I don’t blame him a bit. Those kinds of places can make me twitch after a few minutes!

In case you were wondering, our airplane ride to Almaty was not easy, but it certainly could have been a lot worse. (Thank you Alysa for all your help! I couldn’t have done it without you!)

Milo did fairly well through the check-in process, which took forever and was very chaotic in their makeshift airport. Toward the end of that process he kept kicking off his shoes and whining in impatience. That’s his new thing – kicking off his shoes when he’s frustrated. I need to find some that are impossible to remove without an adult’s help!

Milo’s tummy was suddenly upset, and I had to change a dreadfully full and smelly diaper in the car just before going inside. Then about 15 minutes before we landed, I smelled the dreadful diaper smell again. But we were in our descent and the seatbelt signs were turned on, so I couldn’t go change him. I thought about going anyway, but he often squirms and turns during changes, and the thought of changing him in that tiny restroom on a miniature tray swayed me to wait it out with big apologies to Alysa, who was sitting next to me and could also smell the not-so-delicate aroma.

He did well during take off. He wasn’t very scared as far as I could tell, and he drank his juice to keep his ears from hurting. He hardly realized that we were moving. Once we were cruising for a few minutes he fidgeted and wiggled his way through the next 2.5 hours. I’m so glad I bought an extra seat for him! I guess he did pretty well for a 2-year old, but it took a lot of cookies and new, unseen toys to keep him happy. And he was itching to exit the plane once we finally landed.

During our landing I had to put him on my lap again to hook him up to the child seatbelt, which attached to mine. He was completely intolerant of sitting still at that point, and started to throw a loud fit, crying raucously and flailing around. He just didn’t want to be constrained. The only thing that got him to settle down was feeding him candy marshmallow bananas. Alysa called them the “magic bananas” and thank goodness I brought them!

All this transpired with a small dose of Benedryl having been given, as recommended for air travel by many other parents. I tested out at home first to make sure it didn’t have the opposite effect, which sometimes happens. I only gave him a half-teaspoon so maybe it wasn’t enough, but I didn't want to give him too much. I'd rather not give him any actually. I asked the SOS doctor about the recommended dosage and she admonished me for even thinking of giving it to him.

Needless to say I’m worried about our flights to the US. There's not much else we can do besides have lots of snacks and never-seen-before toys. But we have been “in training” here at the apartment. Twice a day I make him sit in my lap for no particular reason for 5-minute stretches. He’s doing pretty well, so I will increase them to 10-minute stretches tomorrow, and 15-minutes by the time we head home. I hope this will at least help with take-offs and landings. Any other recommendations? Am I just expecting too much of him?

He went to sleep early tonight – a first! It's probably because was up at 5:30 am and didn’t get a full nap because of our clinic visit. Have I mentioned that he must hold his blue camouflage shorts in order to go to sleep? These became his blankie somewhere along the line. This habit seemed to already be in place when I got custody of him. We bought these shorts in Aqtobe on our first trip in May, so I wonder how long he has been sleeping with them. Such a funny and cute little habit. He doesn't exhibit the self-soothing, rocking behavior that many orphanage children do to fall asleep. But he always sucks his thumb and fidgets with his blue camo shorts or sometimes the tab on his diaper. Even if I am holding him, he must be in a position where he can reach one or the other.

I’m going to sneak in a quick shower and get to bed somewhat early tonight. Woo-hoo! In the morning we are being taken to see one of the most beautiful views of the city, although I could stay in and look at Milo all day and be perfectly content.


26 comments:

Dana said...

I am just so excited for you everytime I read your posts. It just reminds me of when I was there and remember the excitement I felt learning all those new little things about your baby. I love that he holds onto his shorts to fall asleep. I also love the 15 minute walk turned into a 40 minute walk but he looks like you describe him, a sweet little boy.

Your flight might go better than you think. Lots of people on the plane around you will be happy to entertain Milo for you. He will sleep I'm sure too. I'm sure you know this but bring some small new toys he's never seen before on the plane. Bring one out every few hours over the course of the trip so he doesn't get them all at once. 2 year olds love stickers even if they stick them to a blank piece of paper. If he feels that you're calm it will help him to feel calm too. I hope your flight is an easy one. Tell Marina Dana and Serena (left Almaty July 17 2007) said Hi!

Patrick & Eileen said...

My goodness a long posting! I'm not complaining because it was great to get caught up!

Sorry to hear that you two have both come down with something!

Congrats on having a date to come home. I think that's a little earlier than you thought? But it sounds like Almaty is a great place to check out....not boring!

I will think good thoughts and best wishes for your travels home. I can't wait to hear how that all works out.

Take care - looking forward to reading more.
Eileen

Alysa said...

Great post! I'm so happy you'll be headed home next week!! Woo-hoo!!!!

I'm so sorry about the colds -- I know exactly where they came from! Mine finally hit full force in Chicago.

I think your "training" idea is a great one. It might very well help Milo with being held for long periods of time (in his mind anyway). I really didn't think the plane trip from Aqtobe was so bad. Given it was a 5-6 hour journey from start to finish (apartment to apartment), I think Milo did really well. I felt like throwing a tantrum myself less then halfway through my trip home! And I had no magic bananas to make it all bearable.

So glad that the apartment is good, you're meeting up with other families, and getting to do some sight-seeing. Almaty is very pretty.

Isn't having a washing machine and A/C wonderful?

I can only imagine the walk home with the groceries. Must have been painful, but I'm glad you made it! I'm sure the stroller really helps, when you're not having stop to put it back together!

Those moments you describe when you look into your son's eyes and just connect, brings tears to mine. I am so incredibly happy for the three of you.

Nell said...

I'm so glad you've settled into the next step -- and even more excited you have a ticket home home home!

I've been loving reading your blog, and although you are almost done with the craziness of the adoption part of it, I hope I'll still be able to keep up the The Grand Adventures of Milo!

I'll be coming to CHS in September and have emailed with Frank about maybe coming to see you, depending on how everything is going, etc. I know September is at least forever away from today!

I thought of you and Milo when I watch the Kazakh athletes march into the Olympic Stadium on Friday night - it's something he can look forward to seeing as he gets older.

Weight -- the Milo diet -- I like it! And 28lbs? Oh my -- my best friend (she and her husband are both very tall and stocky) has a little boy who just turned 1 last week -- and while he can't stand yet, he's over 30lbs already. I'm glad Milo is small enough to handle with groceries!!!

Enjoy your last week in Almaty -- and have a safe and try and find sugar free banana marshmallows -- too many of those on the flight home and he'll be bouncing off the walls!

Susan and Robert said...

Regina,

I feel your pain with the airplane ride! I am dreading it myself! I too have stocked up on never seen before toys and food...lots of food. Some of my son's favorite things are silly putty, crayons and paper, plastic scissors (not sure if you can bring them but we are going to try), chalk and mini chalkboard, anything spiderman, books about curious george.

My husband travels to china and malaysia all the time and says there are a ton of kids on the plane and they all do fine, so don't stress. I plan on walkking up and down the isles if I have to! They will sleep for a good chunk also. I am giving my 27 pounder 1 tsp of benadryl.

Good luck and so glad you get to leave "early"!!

Susan

Kristi Gruizenga said...

OMG you're almost HOME. Fantastic! My flight with Mieke from Almaty to the US was a complete horror, I won't lie. The US doctor at the embassy absolutely said to use the benedryl so if you are at all inclined and you know that it won't make him hyper, I say USE IT. At least bring it along in case you get desperate. One thing to remember - in the plane lavatory when you're changing him, beware. The motion of the plane in addition to being diaperless made Mieke pee all over me and the entire lavatory. Every time. You've been warned.

Good luck! We'll be praying for you.

Love from,

Kristi and Mieke in Mexico

Kaz Blog Reader said...

It's so great that you have your date to return home! We're really glad to hear that happy news. You've almost made it!
It's so nice to read about your developing bond and attachment with Milo!
Lisa and Corey

Deb-DnD said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Deb-DnD said...

By the sounds of your post, you're doing a fabulous job of managing the newness of it all, Mom! And you brought me back to my own memories of my son's twisting during his diaper changes.

Yes yes and yes again to the Benadryl - and don't let those doctors make you feel one iota guilty about it.

I am getting SO excited for your arrival home - I can just imagine how excited YOU must be feeling !!!!

Deb M

Kelly and Sne said...

Glad to hear that you are doing well in Almaty now. You seem to be enjoying yourself - and now that you have a date to be home you can relax and enjoy yourself even more. Aren't Marina and Kate the greatest? Tell them Hi for us and that Miras is doing well.

Oops - your first icky diaper story... Hopefully the last one for this trip. Thankfully Miras timed his bowel movements with the layovers. And I fed him a ton of bananas and bland food before we left. Also - I'm sure you'll have a great time on the airplane. And if all else fails, there's always the electronic doohickeys in the seats (KLM has a remote control with lots of buttons - and a personal movie screen with kiddie shows and music). Miras got so exhausted after Frankfurt that he pretty much slept the rest of the way home so perhaps you'll have the same. Will you be getting him a lap seat or his own seat?

Glad that you're getting out and about in Almaty. My biggest shock was the lack of a driver at our beck and call like in Semey which we also realized while getting lost on the way to the grocery then schlepping too many groceries (and bottled water!) with an overwhelmed little boy back to the apartment.

Anyway - hope you two get over your colds soon. Miras seemed to have a perma-cold (with cough) in Kaz that cleared up pretty quickly in the States. Enjoy your bonding time together. I actually miss that time in Almaty when we had nothing to do but bond with Miras!

Kaz Blog Reader said...

You are handling everything like a pro. And I am guessing there isn't one Mommy on the planet who hasn't misjudged grocery bags/toddlers. It is part of the initiation and you are initiated! Excellent news on the flight home. I will start praying NOW. Trudi

Sandi said...

Oh my gosh, your COMING HOME. Coming to America, I can here the Neil Diamond song running through my head. This is a fabulous post and the such great news.

The post is great I love the updates and I'm glad that your apartment is great (I will have to request it).

Have fun tomorrow on your day trip and before you know it you'll be packing to come home.

sandi

Kaz Blog Reader said...

Once you announce or let it out that you have just adopted him the passengers on the plane will be more helpful and tolerant. Berik was a squirmy, loud 9mth old who pepole were staring until they found out and then they were helpful. You will just have to make a few trips up and down the aisle and stickers are a good idea if you can find any. Almaty is beautiful and so is Milo so I can understand the spending all day staring at him comment! Just a few more days and you will be home! Safe travels! Gena,Jaimie and Berik

Happy said...

Your story of the groceries and a 2-year old who doesn't want to walk brought back memories to when Karla was small and I didn't drive. The grocery store was nearly a mile away, and it was a major challenge. I never did this, but I know from expeience why people steal shopping carts. It takes the strength of Hercules (or a mom) to get home the groceries and a small child who refuses to walk.

I'm thrilled that you have a date to fly home. I'm sorry that I'll miss seeing you when I'm in Charleston this week, but I guess you don't want everyone to descend on Milo anyway. I keep thinking it's so close but not quite close enough. Oh well, next trip.

I think you are doing amazingly well for having been tossed into the fray, a neophyte parent with a toddler on a plane. I recall traveling with GT and Sara in their small days and how, even with older sis Karla and their dad, what a nightmare it was. But all those who told you that others will help are right. As soon as that seatbelt light goes off, let him go. He will visit with strangers and make them into his best friends. Few will mind, and many will enjoy him greatly. Let them help. He is 2 (well almost) and no 2-year-old can sit still for long. The take-offs and landings are quite enough. And he will sleep. It's a long flight, as you know. When he falls asleep, belt him in and take your own nap. :) If you get a window seat, let him be smushed into that corner. He can stand and get up and down and hopefully you can sort of trap him in, though I also know how good they are at escape, no matter how good you are. But there is a huge reward waiting at the end of this next leg of the journey--his papa will be waiting for you, and a whole new chapter will be written. I can't wait to read what comes next.

Have fun your last few days, feel better, enjoy the sights, and come home safely. Happy

Kaz Blog Reader said...

Yeah! almost home! I can't remember if I mentioned this before but little dum-dum suckers (the brand we found in Almaty was mini-chupas) kept Nick in his seat for all of the take-offs and landings. Nick liked the remote also but I had to keep my finger over the call attendent button the whole time! ;) Make sure you beg/plead/ bribe them to give you aisle seats or bulkhead. I tried everything (well, not the bribe but I should have) and they would not give us them and put us in the middle of the 5 seat row. I just let Nick bang the seats in front of us and get up as much as he needed and dared the people to complain to the Flight attendants. Luckily, we had a sweet angel of a US father next to us who had tons of empathy and didn't mind feet on his lap as Nick tried to stretch out to sleep! Fight hard for your comfort....it will be worth it!

Enjoy your last few days in-country! You will be home before you know it! karen

dnd82001 said...

Great news that your coming home!! We arrive in Almaty late on the 19th - would have been great if we could have met up but you going home is wonderful - I'm sure Frank is ready & waiting as you will begin your life in America as a family of three!!

Feel better and enjoy your time in Almaty!!

Darlene

marsrob said...

OH REGINA YOU ARE ALMOST HOME! And yes, after being a single mommy, I bet having Frank's help will be unbelievable! Anyways, Aila was much younger for the plane ride, so I don't know what to say except that maybe he'll do better than you expect because you are anticipating such a nightmare? Possible? We cannot use benadryl because we tried it and Aila has the exact opposite reaction we want....So...I say do what you think is right and just know that people on every airplane ought to be tolerant and kind - if they are not, they are the mean ones. You are going to be going through a lot and I am praying people will be helpful and supportive!
Almaty is wonderful and I am so glad you are getting out there to see it a bit. BUT, how INCREDIBLE that you are ALMOST HOME!!! UNREAL!!! It is so close now! JOY!!!
Huge hugs to you and Milo!

Karla and Ben said...

Hi Regina! We have been enjoying your blog so much. We were just so happy to see you & Frank adopt Milo, and it has been a true joy and privilege to watch him grow through the blog. I'm glad you like Almaty. We really liked that city. We went to the local amusement park one day, and Erlan had a great time.

We used benadryl with Erlan both when he had chicken pox and when we flew. I checked it out with our doc, and he said it was fine. He said it becomes a problem when people give too much or too often or mix it with other meds.... We gave him a 1 tsp.

For Erlan, Ben and I thought it was necessary on the flights. He was so overstimulated by everything around him that he wasn't going to sleep without some help. The poor kid really needed to sleep.

We are very happy for you. Congratulations!

cindy said...

What a wonderful post! I love that he sleeps with his shorts! How sweet is that? Glad you will be stateside soon with papa. I'm in panic mode because we leave now in ONE WEEK! Much love, Cindy Matt Astrid and coming soon... Akeyla!

Matthew Ruley said...

Sounds like he's doing GREAT! Andrey has a 30 second attention span (almost) so 15 mins is fabu! Glad to hear he has no self-soothing habits, Andrey rocks himself at night and when we first got him, he pinched himself black and blue on his tummy.

What a cutie you got there- I am sure you and Milo cant wait to see Frank and Frank to see his family.

Matthew Ruley said...

As for flights - we practiced the concept of it by playing airplane games. That way they learn the concept of up and down,,, and then I could tell him where we were and what we were doing. Get lollypops and snacks. The best thing on the plane for us were SLINKIES which I found in a little toy stall in Ust. Yes, little hidden toys and we also had binkies to help with sucking and airpressure. It wasn't as bad I thought with ours. Andrey was totally intrigued bu the buttons on the armrest and I had to give up caring that he was callingthe stewardess. Socks help - you can tie them around the buttons tightly and he couldnt' get to them.

Also had one rude guy in front of us and he wanted me to stop Andrey from moving around in his seat which was impossible. Just don't take anyones comments personally and most people think its totally cool and will put up with alot.

Because Andrey was so mobile, and we spent 7.5 hrs in Frankfort, we used perminant marker wrote his flight itinerary and my friend's phone # on his shirt and he wore it the entire trip. Wasn't necessary but it gave us peace of mind.

Andrey HATED being confined in our arms and the seatbelt, What can you do? We just held tight and prayed when necessary. Wandering aroudn the cockpit when you can. Blow up balloons and beachballs and little cars at the layover stops as well as food... Bring a change of clothes for both of you incase you have flying vomit, which we di't have luckily.

Alyona had some sleep terrors on the flight which frightened me but all you can do is do what you can. You'll be in our thoughts and prayers on the 18th 19th and 20th. Alyona starts school (PK) on the 19th so I won't forget!

Aaron and Julie said...

One more week!!! You are almost home!! What a sweet homecoming & birthday celebration!

Glad you are getting out and enjoying Almaty - the picture you posted nearly made me 'home' sick for it!

You are doing a great job - my heart ached for you reading the grocery trip story.

Plane ride home: I wish I had encouraging words. Our experience: Ben slept for 4 hours out of 30. He wanted nothing to do with the 'surprise' toys and was only entertained by the food cart or snacks. From Almaty to Amsterdam, we 'ran' up and down the aisles for hours. Everyone was extremely tolerant and told us not to worry about it everytime we apologized - they all seemed to understand. We will be thinking of you guys. Just remember - Frank will be waiting on this side of the world for you!!!

Blessings,
Julie

Anonymous said...

Hi Regina,
First of all, if you don't want to give Milo the Benadryl - - don't, but you can always take lots of it & you won't care what he does! Just kidding!
I have been out of town for a few days, so I have not been checking your blog, but I have certainly been thinking about you. I know you must be exhaused, but like "birthing your own bio children" this too will be a distant memory. I am glad you are keeping your sense of humor as parenting requires lots of this!
I am happy you will soon be returning home. Hang in there, just tell Frank he owes you a back rub and a foot rub when you get home!
Hang in there & blessings,
Teresa

Kim said...

How great you met the Pike's! They are using the same agency we did and we have been following their journey for awhile. The picture of the mountains is amazing. Makes me miss Almaty. Congratulations on the travel date!

John & Jenny Morgan said...

Yea! I am so excited for you that you'll soon be coming home! I hope the rest of your stay in Almaty is pleasant and that your trip to the US is as comfortable for you and Milo as possible.

Jennifer said...

Wow, I'm so glad you enjoyed Almaty. I was hoping you would.

I finally have my computer back up and running, so I'm catching up now.

I love your honesty and your understanding/compassion/empathy. You are awesome!!